This morning our so-called president woke up and struggled into the bathroom to sit on his solid gold toilet and tweet this.

Breaking News: The President of Ukraine has just again announced that President Trump has done nothing wrong with respect to Ukraine and our interactions or calls. If the Radical Left Democrats were sane, which they are not, it would be case over!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 2, 2019

Breaking news! Donald Trump is a blatant liar!

Because here’s the interview to which he’s referring, in TIME. Zelensky is much better at hedging his words than Trump, and he’s very aware of the power differential between Ukraine and the United States, but he says enough to make it clear that he’s not absolving Trump or saying he “did nothing wrong.”

This is how the interview ends, and it’s very different from Trump’s distorted lie.

TIME: When did you first sense that there was a connection between Trump’s decision to block military aid to Ukraine this summer and the two investigations that Trump and his allies were asking for? Can you clarify this issue of the quid pro quo?

Zelensky: Look, I never talked to the President from the position of a quid pro quo. That’s not my thing. … I don’t want us to look like beggars. But you have to understand. We’re at war. If you’re our strategic partner, then you can’t go blocking anything for us. I think that’s just about fairness. It’s not about a quid pro quo. It just goes without saying.

Breaking news: Donald Trump is a con man, and a liar, and a lawless criminal president.