re: #126 Glenn Beck’s Grand Unifying Theory of Obdicut

I just answered the phone “Bert’s House of Beef” because I thought it was my friend Julien calling. Then my heart sank when I heard a confused woman’s voice and thought, “Oh shit, I just pranked one of my wife’s professors or something” but then she said “I’m sorry, I was trying to call the post office. My apologies.”

It was a prank that wasn’t, in the end. It doesn’t matter that I’m not Bert’s House of Beef. For all intents and purposes, I am Bert’s House of Beef.

A buddy of mine used to answer the phone, “Comm Battalion Help Desk, PFC Chewbacca speaking, how can I help you?”

No one ever caught him.