re: #127 CuriousLurker

Okay, I’m blaming this on Charles. About an hour ago I got tired of all the crazy on Twitter and shut it down, deciding to just sort of lurk lazily with the Spy open. Charles started with the spork/foon thing, and then everyone began linking to pics of them, so I went to Amazon to see what they had.

Anyway, long story short, I ended up getting hungry as so often seems to happen when visiting LGF, so I decided to go throw some breaded chicken tenders in the toaster oven. After putting them in, I decided I’d have them with some low-fat ranch dressing today—y’know because of the whole #BundyRanch thing—so opened the fridge to reach for it and when I moved it, this is what was lying in wait behind it:

Carrot? Maybe?

I yanked my hand back thinking, “WTF is that??” Once my pulse went back to normal and I realized that whatever it was is completely desiccated and therefore unlikely to be slimy, smelly, moldy, or otherwise gross, I picked it up and decided to photograph it for you guys. Because I have a camera, but not a life, therefore I feel compelled to share these things with you. //

I think it’s a carrot, but I’m not sure. If it is, I have no idea how it got out of its bag and behind the ranch dressing. Prolly Obama with his government tentacles everywhere. Or maybe it’s an NSA spy thingy. No, wait—ZOMG!!—could it be a Zionist carrot planted by the Mossad…?

That’s …amazing.