This has been a rough day. That it was 9/11 didn’t help. All day long I’ve been turning over in my mind what the day means; what the event means. I was teaching most of the day, and then had to take part in a hearing that may result in a student’s expulsion, which is never a pleasant experience. Then came the interminable meeting of the IT advisory group to set priorities for how we’ll spend the budget before it gets cut (new computers for all!). All the while I’ve been in horrible pain as every place where bone meets bone in my body aches. And the image of clouds of ash have been running like an endless film loop in my head. It made it hard to think about the schedule for new plug-ins on the VOIP system.

What does it take to cross that line? What does it take to cross the line from strongly held beliefs that are life-affirming to having those same beliefs become transformed into justifications for nihilistic destruction? It’s probably no surprise that since 9/11 I’ve spent my time studying witch trials and early modern conspiracy theory. But for all my efforts, I just can’t wrap my head around the problem. I am still left gasping for air when I think about it. What does it take to conceive of doing something like that?