Last Halloween I was out running some errands when I heard BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…. behind me. I turned around and saw this
*CASKET* coming down the street after me! It was up on its edge and
“walking” like a person would!

It got closer and closer, and the lid started clapping open and closed
like it was trying to grab me! So I was *RUNNING* by now, and the
casket was keeping up with me!

I got home, ran inside, and locked the door. The casket crashed
through the wall! All the time that BUMP BUMP BUMP sound, and the
occasional SNAP as the lid tried to bite me!

So I ran down the hall into the bathroom, closed and locked that
door… and the casket CRASHED THROUGH THE DOOR!

Ok, I was praying to Shiva, Buddha, Pharaoh, Isis, EVERYBODY by
that time. No where else to go, the casket between me and the door,
and only a painted shut window behind me.

I was grabbing things and tossing them at the casket. A box of kleenex
and rolls of toilet paper didn’t hurt it a bit. I finally grabbed this
bottle of Cough Syrup, wound up like a baseball pitcher, and threw
that. The bottle hit the casket and shattered! Cough syrup went
everywhere!

And that is when the coffin stopped….