Now, of course, all I can think of is the Mark Twain sketch where he visits Brigham Young, and Young explains to him, very kindly, that if he had offered any of his children anything he would have been killed, because if one kid gets, all the kids have to get, or their mothers are upset. There was a guest who gave one child a whistle, and Young has not yet recovered from the repercussions of everyone having to get a whistle too.

Which then gets me thinking of the Ogden Nash poem, where he wishes on the composer of “Chopsticks” a thousand harems with a thousand wives apiece, and a thousand children by each wife, and all of the children playing “Chopsticks” morning noon and night.

Which is a hell of a lot of pianos…