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Onion: Homeland Security Warns of Spiraling Fear

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Cheechako7/13/2011 10:37:55 pm PDT

I can visualize an Obama TV ad for the 2012 election: A corporate jet with a large “Big Business Corporation” logo rolls up to the camera. The door opens and the camera moves inside. Seated in a large, leather chair, surrounded by a bevy of beautiful young ladies, sits a robust, mid-50’s businessman. He’s smoking a large cigar and is sipping a large glass of bourbon. The camera focuses on the businessman and he says “Thanks to all the Republicans in Congress the Big Business Corporation did not have to pay any corporate income taxes this year. With all the taxes we saved on our humongous profits we were able to go out and purchase this great airplane. And the best part is we can also deduct the planes cost and operating costs on next year’s taxes. THANK YOU REPUBLICANS!”