Righty: “He hated Bush! He’s a lefty!”

Lefty: “He was a gun nut! He’s a righty!”

Righty: “Bullshit! He was a troofer! He’s yours!

Lefty: “Bullshit yourself! He was a Kurrency Kook! He’s yours!

Ghost of shooter: “No, people, I am both of yours.”