Texas Lt. Gov (and Rick Perry’s BFF) David Dewhurst tries to pull a “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM” to get a relative out of a shoplifting arrest, fails.

“This is David Dewhurst, and I’m the lieutenant governor of the State of Texas,” he tells the dispatcher, who forwarded the call to a police department sergeant.

“What do I need to do to arrange for getting her out of jail this evening?” Dewhurst asks the police officer.

The officer explains that the case is now in the hands of Collin County authorities and there’s nothing he can do to expedite the woman’s release.

“I am, every year, the number-one pick of all of the law enforcement agencies within Texas,” Dewhurst tells the officer. “You don’t know it, but I’m a supporter of you and a supporter of law enforcement.”

Dewhurst repeatedly asks what he needs to do to get the woman out of jail, and is politely instructed by the Allen police officer to call the sheriff’s office.

“This is ridiculous,” Dewhurst says. “This lady, in my mind, is 100 percent innocent, and it’s just an unfortunate situation of circumstances.”

On several occasions, Dewhurst says the commander of the Texas Department of Public Safety will be calling to follow up on his inquiry.

“We don’t decide guilt or innocence,” the police sergeant calmly explains to the lieutenant governor, who then asked for the phone number of the sergeant’s supervisor and of the Collin County judge and sheriff. The sergeant declined both requests.

Allen Police Department spokesman Sgt. Jon Felty said every department policy was followed.

“Our procedure was followed to the letter, nothing was done that should not have been done. No favors granted, anything of that nature,” he said.

Felty also commended the officer who spoke with Dewhurst. “He handled it professionally. He knew who he was talking to, obviously, and he didn’t handle it any different than he would have for any other citizen for the state of Texas.”