Good evening. I am sitting in the kitchen with a hot cup of chamomile tea, I ran away from watching Israeli TV. I was sobbing..the stories of the IDF casualties, the mothers being interviewed on TV, talking about their sons in Gaza, and now a story about one of the kids who was killed-a Palestinian and I am so upset…the kid Ahmad was taken to an Israeli hospital in Beersheva and I think is brain dead and they filmed the moment where they told his sister and even though I know they are terrorist supporters who would kill me in a minute and dance on my blood I am angry at myself for feeling sad, which is what the terrorists are counting on. I am so distraught. I just think of my kids and those moms with their sons in Gaza and I am bawling again. I am out of it. I tried to give husband a pep talk saying THAT’S WHAT THEY DEPEND ON, that we feel-we hurt for their kids, but that they would kill us for Allah in a split second. I’m a mess.