At 3:15 pm est I will publish a gnarly story on #SabrinaRubinErdely.

— Charles C. Johnson (@ChuckCJohnson) December 10, 2014

Oops—3:15 came and went; the earth is still rotating on its axis and revolving around the sun (sorry, science deniers, that’s just the way it is.)

Ah, upchuck is at his lawyer’s and must delay his “gnarly” release. (Who the fuck still says gnarly?)