Aaaarrrghhh! It’s 90 degrees just after midnight here in the Hub City of the Plains Dunes, Lubbock. We have had no measurable rainfall since May 12. This was the first June and only the second July in history that no rain has fallen. Records here go back to 1892. It was also our 47th day over 100 degrees. The former record was 29 such days for a whole year. With two months of hot weather left, we will almost certainly double the old record by a good margin.
According to Governor Redpot Goodhair and his batshit crazy spiritual advisors, though, global warming is a hoax inspired by the demon Baal.