Why is it that most of the extreme granola-bar/anti-vax/organic/ultra-green ecofreaks I know are women? Specifically, pampered, borderline psycho women with husbands who earn enough to indulge their every freakish whim? Instead of Manolo shoes, they’re buying “certified organic everything that costs five times as much as the normal stuff, and freaking out and firing the maid if she innocently uses Pine-Sol by mistake.

I’ve never met a man who was upset about the lead in his bullets.