Does anyone else have a friend who sends you totally random, insane text messages daily?

YOU SMELL LIKE ANTI-FREEZE!

Your ability to deliver hilarity can only be compared through size or volume to that of your balls which like all badasses, must be ginormous.

WE MUST BAND TOGETHER AGAINST SCIENTOLOGY!

YOU FUCKING WIN AT LIFE DUDE!

You don’t talk to me enough and your wife is hotter than you.