Charles insists on clinging to his old, tired, Bush-era terminology. “Attack”? Nobody says stuff like that anymore. Man, what a fist-clencher he is.

What we’re seeing here is an “empathy failure.” We need to respond by sending the Taliban truckloads of cash and DVDs of classic American films. If we don’t send them sufficient gifts, we risk having a “man-made disaster” (not “attack”), which might necessitate a “global contingency operation.”

/bitter sarcasm