I’ve got a story I’ll post here instead of on Facebook because I don’t want people who know me to know what a moron I am:

I’m glad last week is over. I could say I had a senior moment but I actually had a senior year. Usually when I show my driver’s license for ID I just leave it in my wallet window, but I was noticing someone else’s ID looked different than mine so I took a look at it and discovered to my horror that it had expired in late June.

Of 2015. I’ve been driving with an expired licence for over a year.

I called up the DMV office that I knew had late hours and told them my situation (without telling them my name), and they told me I’d have to go to the main office and retake the written test and I might have to pay some penalties for not renewing for so long. I was having panic attacks about getting charged for driving w/o a license. I also needed to drive 200 miles for a work meeting in two days. I was dying.

Next morning, I took the bus downtown and got in line at the DMV office before it opened. I showed them my license and was expecting to get read the riot act, but the clerk when ‘Oh my’ and pointed me towards the line to take my test. In about 10 minutes, I was sitting behind the test screen. I had studied the manual for about an hour the night before so I managed to pass (89%). I got in line again and they asked if I wanted to retest for the motorcycle endorsement. Yep. I got 91% on that and got back in line to see what the penalty for being 13.5 months overdue on the renewal. I still didn’t know if they’d require me to take a behind-the-wheel test, and I was still in full panic mode. The woman behind the counter was really super nice and when she wrote up my fee, there was no extra charge. It cost me less than $40 for car and motorcycle fees. I got my temp license and was able to drive that evening to go vote, and was able to make my work meeting.

I spent this whole week feeling like the luckiest stupid guy ever.