re: #64 researchok

Denial is a part of the grieving process and necessary.

We are adamant about denial because denial allows us time to process the new and altered reality. For some people, denial is short lived lived, for others it is longer, sometimes up to a year.

Your husband may or may not need to cry. We all grieve in our own way. It is more important that he feels he can acknowledge his new reality whenever he is ready to do just that. It may be at a quiet time or it may be a time, event or place that triggers a memory.

Loss makes us feel less secure and more vulnerable. If he knows you ‘have his back’ he’ll follow up at a time and place of his choosing.

Godspeed.

Before she passed, he told me that he knew my instinct would be to cuddle and commiserate, and try to get into his emotions. He told me not to. I’m trying hard.