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Onion: Homeland Security Warns of Spiraling Fear

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ausador7/13/2011 7:05:16 pm PDT

Getting really, really drunk tonight, tomorrow my brother who is sick of my excuses for delay is trying to place me in Rehab. Hey if I have to go I might as well show up with bleary red eyes and a hangover…right?

/just to show I actually need rehab…(yeah I wish I was kidding)