BREAKING NEWS!

Darrell Issa announces two weeks of investigative hearings into the shocking abuse of umbrellas by this so-called President. Subpoenas have been issued for Turkish PM Erdogan and the two Marines who were forced into abetting this appalling abuse of Presidential power.

Featuring Jason Chaffetz as the Angriest Guy in the Room, with half-time entertainment by Louie “Bumps” Gohmert.