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Onion: Romney Tries New Strategy to Impress Voters

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Rightwingconspirator4/12/2012 5:14:36 pm PDT

Whew, for the last half hour we have been stuck in a police perimeter with snipers on a roof and all. Seems an angry neighbor fired a shotgun at someone he was arguing with. Nobody hit but LAPD locked this couple blocks down.