flashvars=”image=http%3A%2F%2ftheonion.com%2Fcontent%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2FFEEDBAGS_article.jpg&videoid=80614&title=New%20Wearable%20Feedbags%20Let%20Americans%20Eat%20More%2C%20Move%20Less”
1 |
NelsFree Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:13:20pm |
I carry my eating apparatus with me all the time. I call it...my mouth.
| 4 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:15:13pm |
Now its easy to send text messages and get a bigger ass at the same time.
| 6 |
big steve Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:16:29pm |
Dammit the Democrats will start taxing them next. No New Bag Taxes!
| 7 |
kynna Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:16:57pm |
I spent the day in traffic on the way to the beach, freezing my booty off at the beach, then back in traffic for the trip home from the beach.
I'm cranky.
So, thanks for the Onion link. :D
| 8 |
zombie Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:18:52pm |
One wonders: Did Taco Bell pay a "marketing fee" for the privilege of being mocked in Onion "newscasts," or did they just strike it lucky and get chosen at random, with no bribe-money exchanged?
| 9 |
VegasRick Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:19:36pm |
The way things are going right now, the onion is starting to become much more believable.
| 10 |
JacksonTn Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:20:49pm |
re: #9 VegasRick
The way things are going right now, the onion is starting to become much more believable.
VR ... yes and National Enquirer were the only ones to buck the democrats and expose Edwards ... head swirl ...
| 11 |
SasquatchOnSteroids Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:20:59pm |
"It's hot, steamy food in your face right now"
They might have something here....
| 12 |
IslandLibertarian Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:22:03pm |
oh hell, we had one of those back in the 60s, but it held pot, and you smoked it......we called it SMAUG!
| 13 |
Kosh's Shadow Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:22:11pm |
SNL did this back in one of the first few seasons. I forgot what they called it, but I remember Chevy Chase in the "ad".
| 14 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:22:12pm |
re: #11 SasquatchOnSteroids
"It's hot, steamy food in your face right now"
They might have something here....
They need a pneumatic plunger on the bottom of the bag.
| 15 |
VegasRick Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:22:39pm |
re: #10 JacksonTn
VR ... yes and National Enquirer were the only ones to buck the democrats and expose Edwards ... head swirl ...
Kind of like the scene in MIB where they get the "rags" to check out all the "real news" stories.
| 16 |
zombie Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:23:39pm |
re: #10 JacksonTn
VR ... yes and National Enquirer were the only ones to buck the democrats and expose Edwards ... head swirl ...
And TMZ -- the sleaziest, shallowest gossip site in existence -- broke the Michael Jackson death story.
| 17 |
Kragar Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:23:43pm |
re: #8 zombie
One wonders: Did Taco Bell pay a "marketing fee" for the privilege of being mocked in Onion "newscasts," or did they just strike it lucky and get chosen at random, with no bribe-money exchanged?
mocked? You mean these aren't real?
/sniffle
WAAAAAAAA!
| 18 |
SasquatchOnSteroids Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:23:46pm |
re: #14 DEZes
They need a pneumatic plunger on the bottom of the bag.
lol, yeah. That one kid was using his hands, fercrissakes.
1st gen always needs tweaking.
| 19 |
NelsFree Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:24:38pm |
re: #8 zombie
One wonders: Did Taco Bell pay a "marketing fee" for the privilege of being mocked in Onion "newscasts," or did they just strike it lucky and get chosen at random, with no bribe-money exchanged?
Taco Bell was the logical choice. How many times have you opened your food wrapper to find ingredients collected together at the bottom? You end up licking the paper, turning it inside out, holding the bag over your upturned mouth...
oh, er, well, I NEVER do that, I've just seen OTHERS do that.
/heh
| 20 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:24:47pm |
re: #18 SasquatchOnSteroids
lol, yeah. That one kid was using his hands, fercrissakes.
1st gen always needs tweaking.
Maybe it can be offered as an upgrade.
| 21 |
pre-Boomer Marine brat Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:25:35pm |
I like the idea of hoses in the drive-thrus
| 22 |
Enkidu90046 Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:25:46pm |
The Onion rarely misses the mark. Brilliant stuff. Great social commentary.
I remember The Onion back in its print format days from my college years. It was as hilarious back then as it is now.
| 23 |
Dr. Shalit Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:25:50pm |
As One Horse Neighed to Another:
"FEEDBAG!
-S-
| 24 |
NelsFree Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:26:24pm |
| 25 |
pre-Boomer Marine brat Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:27:51pm |
re: #14 DEZes
They need a pneumatic plunger on the bottom of the bag.
Was gonna tell you to just suck it up ...
but then I realized that was more work.
| 26 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:29:30pm |
re: #24 NelsFree
A Tex-Mex French Press?
I was thinking more like an auto loader, and they can a banquette bandoleer for the really hungry.
| 27 |
VegasRick Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:29:34pm |
re: #25 pre-Boomer Marine brat
Was gonna tell you to just suck it up ...
but then I realized that was more work.
"She's gone from suck to blow!"
*Spaceballs ref
| 28 |
pre-Boomer Marine brat Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:30:05pm |
What sort of modifications will they make before marketing the Feedbag to the Five Star restaurant industry?
| 29 |
David Simon Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:30:05pm |
I wish this were an Onion parody, but it isn't. Columbia tenures a barking moonbat:
JOSEPH Massad's schol arly contribution during his decade as a faculty member of Columbia University's Middle East Studies Department may be summed up as follows: Israel is racist, and homosexuality is an insidious Western invention.
Yet that was enough for Columbia, which officially -- if quietly -- awarded Massad tenure earlier this month.
[Link: www.nypost.com...]
| 30 |
SasquatchOnSteroids Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:30:25pm |
well, I've been informed that I need to go get the chinese food.
Me ?
well, duh. I ordered it.
Yes, dear.
BIAB.
P.S. - how do you say feedbag in Mandarin ?
| 31 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:30:54pm |
re: #26 DEZes
I was thinking more like an auto loader, and they can offer a banquette bandoleer for the really hungry.
| 33 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:32:15pm |
| 34 |
pre-Boomer Marine brat Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:32:46pm |
Will the up-scale version have a wet-napkin around an elasticized band at the top of the bag? When you're done, you pull the bag off, and your face is automatically wiped.
| 35 |
Erik The Red Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:33:04pm |
Later Lizards. I am exhausted. See you all on Sunday night. :)
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY AMERICA. THANK YOU GRACIOUS LADY FOR EVERYTHING.
| 36 |
MandyManners Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:33:27pm |
Can it be reconfigured to hold Basil Hayden's?
| 37 |
NelsFree Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:34:32pm |
Hey, the Obama Quote Generator Got it right:
"You know, there's a lot of talk in this country about inability to text while eating. Well I think Americans are tired of the same old mixed up fast food. Ordinary Americans believe in feed bags, they want less got the wrong order of fast food, they just aren't sure if their leaders believe in walking and eating."
/glad I boor-marked it
| 39 |
pre-Boomer Marine brat Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:35:12pm |
re: #29 David Simon
If homosexuality is an "insidious Western invention", this guy is ignoring a lot of erotic Arab literature about young boys.
/not to mention long-running customs in Kandahar
| 40 |
wrenchwench Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:35:59pm |
| 41 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:36:22pm |
re: #38 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)
Old avatar got old, time for a new one
Cool, makes me wanna play a game.
| 42 |
pre-Boomer Marine brat Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:37:31pm |
re: #30 SasquatchOnSteroids
how do you say feedbag in Mandarin ?
It probably is something like "More Goo Guy's Pan"
| 43 |
Kragar Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:38:01pm |
re: #41 DEZes
Cool, makes me wanna play a game.
Got a game scheduled on Sunday, getting 2 squads of sappers ready right now
| 44 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:38:27pm |
re: #43 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)
Got a game scheduled on Sunday, getting 2 squads of sappers ready right now
What game?
| 45 |
callahan23 Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:38:53pm |
Wow, just had a look at my watch.
's very late.
See y'all down the road.
I love you (Lizardim} - mostly.
Really!
| 46 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:39:21pm |
re: #45 callahan23
Wow, just had a look at my watch.
's very late.
See y'all down the road.
I love you (Lizardim} - mostly.Really!
Sleep well buddy.
| 48 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:40:01pm |
| 49 |
Kragar Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:42:18pm |
| 50 |
DEZes Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:44:54pm |
re: #49 Kragar (Proud to be Kafir)
They got a PC version as well, new one came out a few months ago.
[Video]
Im still playing call of duty, modern warfare.
I only play pc games. ;)
| 51 |
David Simon Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:45:36pm |
re: #39 pre-Boomer Marine brat
If homosexuality is an "insidious Western invention", this guy is ignoring a lot of erotic Arab literature about young boys.
/not to mention long-running customs in Kandahar
Indeed.
/and yes, the Kandahar marauders (i.e. the Taliban) were some of the worst offenders
| 52 |
zombie Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:47:05pm |
re: #19 NelsFree
Taco Bell was the logical choice. How many times have you opened your food wrapper to find ingredients collected together at the bottom? You end up licking the paper, turning it inside out, holding the bag over your upturned mouth...
oh, er, well, I NEVER do that, I've just seen OTHERS do that.
/heh
I've never eaten at Taco Bell!
In fact, I've never eaten at Burger King, McDonald's KFC, or most other fast-food joints either. The only ones I remember ever eating at were Wendy's and Arby's, and in both of those cases, only once or twice each.
I think being a vegetarian food nut most of my adult life put a big crimp in my fast food patronage.
| 53 |
David Simon Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:53:29pm |
re: #52 zombie
I've never eaten at Taco Bell!
In fact, I've never eaten at Burger King, McDonald's KFC, or most other fast-food joints either. The only ones I remember ever eating at were Wendy's and Arby's, and in both of those cases, only once or twice each.
I think being a vegetarian food nut most of my adult life put a big crimp in my fast food patronage.
I love Taco Bell, but I try to eat vegan at least once a day. And I'm going to pimp a discovery: Smart Dogs Italian Sausage. Better than Tofurky Beer Brats (which are actually pretty good.) Redolent of fennel and a just a hint of hot pepper, they're better than the real thing.
| 54 |
quickjustice Fri, Jul 3, 2009 6:56:05pm |
Looks good to me! Gives new meaning to the term "strap on"! ;-)
| 55 |
zombie Fri, Jul 3, 2009 7:05:52pm |
re: #53 David Simon
I love Taco Bell, but I try to eat vegan at least once a day. And I'm going to pimp a discovery: Smart Dogs Italian Sausage. Better than Tofurky Beer Brats (which are actually pretty good.) Redolent of fennel and a just a hint of hot pepper, they're better than the real thing.
Each "fake meat" company has a specialty in which they have the best product. No one company excels in all areas.
Yves makes the best vegetarian Canadian Bacon.
Tofurkey makes the best vegetarian hickory-smoked turkey slices.
Smart Dogs (as you note) make some of the best vegetarian hot dogs and sausages.
LightLife makes the best vegetarian "breakfast patties."
Morningstar Farms make the best vegetarian corn dogs.
Quorn makes the best whole-bird vegetarian turkey or chicken.
And so on.
Interesting how each has a specialty, and none is the best across-the-board.
| 56 |
David Simon Fri, Jul 3, 2009 7:10:15pm |
re: #55 zombie
I've been searching for decent ersatz breakfast meat, and haven't found it. I'm going to try LightLife. Thanks for the tip.
| 57 |
Enkidu90046 Fri, Jul 3, 2009 7:30:58pm |
re: #50 DEZes
Im still playing call of duty, modern warfare.
I only play pc games. ;)
I am also a CoD 4 addict (although I play it on the Xbox). I cannot wait for CoD Modern Warfare 2 to come out. Infinity Ward always kicks ass... Treyarch, not so much...
| 58 |
Kosh's Shadow Fri, Jul 3, 2009 7:47:04pm |
re: #55 zombie
Each "fake meat" company has a specialty in which they have the best product. No one company excels in all areas.
Yves makes the best vegetarian Canadian Bacon.
Tofurkey makes the best vegetarian hickory-smoked turkey slices.
Smart Dogs (as you note) make some of the best vegetarian hot dogs and sausages.
LightLife makes the best vegetarian "breakfast patties."
Morningstar Farms make the best vegetarian corn dogs.
Quorn makes the best whole-bird vegetarian turkey or chicken.And so on.
Interesting how each has a specialty, and none is the best across-the-board.
Thanks. I've been generally eating the Morningstar Farms patties; I'll have to try the LightLife.
| 59 |
Bond Fri, Jul 3, 2009 8:18:43pm |
I wonder why these embedded Onion videos don't work in Firefox 3.5 for me?
| 60 |
Mostly sane, most of the time. Fri, Jul 3, 2009 8:28:56pm |
I'm gonna hurl. I think it was the guy with the food all over his face.
I love the Onion.
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