Who Is the RNC’s Mystery Wingnut?

Who else?
Wingnuts • Views: 37,727

I’m stoked today, because it looks like the wackiest, most incoherent high-profile right wing demagogue in America just might be serving up a tasty word salad at the Republican Convention’s Thursday night extravaganza: Who Is Thursday’s Mystery Convention Speaker?

TAMPA, Fla. – Republican convention planners appear to have a surprise planned for those tuning in Thursday night.

Buried deep in the convention schedule released Monday is a vague reference to a mystery speaker scheduled for the event’s final evening. “To Be Announced” has a prime speaking slot late in the Thursday program.

By then, speakers from Mitt Romney’s church will have taken the stage that night. The co-founder of Staples office-supply chain will have spoken about working with Mr. Romney during his time at Bain Capital. State officials from Massachusetts will have talked about the former governor. Olympians will have already thanked the presidential candidate for leading the 2002 Winter Games.

The only other speakers to follow “To Be Announced” will be Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida and Mr. Romney himself, suggesting that the unnamed guest may appear during the 10 p.m. hour when the networks all will be broadcasting the convention.

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115 comments
1 The Mongoose  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:06:52am

The RNC establishment can't possibly think hauling Palin up there could be a good idea. Can they?

Nancy Reagan, maybe. Even at 91 she's got more presence and character than Palin could ever hope to cobble together.

2 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:07:18am

My first thought was W. , but I'm really not sure about it.

Glenn Beck maybe? Rush Limbaugh?

Chris Christie?

3 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:07:43am

re: #1 The Mongoose

The RNC establishment can't possibly think hauling Palin up there could be a good idea. Can they?

Nancy Reagan, maybe.

She healthy enough for that right now?

4 Sheila Broflovski  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:07:59am

Bristol Palin maybe? Jenna Jameson?

5 Mocking Jay  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:08:04am

Mitt's tax returns?

6 Interesting Times  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:08:46am
7 The Mongoose  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:08:47am

re: #3 dragonfire1981

She healthy enough for that right now?

Fair question. It won't be Bush or Christie though, they both have existing slots (Bush by video tomorrow).

8 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:08:50am

It can only be Joad Cressbeckler.

9 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:09:10am

One of the Koch brothers perhaps?

10 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:09:54am

re: #7 The Mongoose

Fair question. It won't be Bush or Christie though, they both have existing slots (Bush by video tomorrow).

Oh wow, I didn't think they'd want W. anywhere near that place, my understanding was he is kind of Persona Non Grata in the GOP these days.

11 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:09:57am

I did hear Lisa Ann is in town, so maybe they invited her.

12 Sheila Broflovski  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:10:57am

(Marie) Ann(toinette) Romney is scheduled to speak, but that's not a mystery.

13 CarleeCork  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:11:05am

It's got to be a woman.

14 Varek Raith  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:11:26am

RON PAUL!

15 The Mongoose  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:11:49am

re: #10 dragonfire1981

Oh wow, I didn't think they'd want W. anywhere near that place, my understanding was he is kind of Persona Non Grata in the GOP these days.

It's a video address on the Wednesday afternoon I think...not exactly a prime spot.

16 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:12:03am

Wait I think I may have figured it out....JOE ARPAIO!

17 Targetpractice  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:12:24am

Well, it's true we haven't heard anything from Caribou Barbie about the convention since word got around that she wasn't invited and the wingnuts started a mini-revolt.

18 bluecheese  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:12:42am

some are suggesting that it's going to be a Ronald Regan hologram. (lol)

19 The Mountain That Blogs  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:12:54am

I'm hoping for Herman Cain.

20 Gus  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:14:37am

Zombie Reagan!

21 Kronocide  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:15:05am

A Reagan hologram a la Tupac, expect he'll be rapping about small government.

Expect a large bump in minority polling.

22 Targetpractice  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:15:28am

re: #18 bluecheese

some are suggesting that it's going to be a Ronald Regan hologram. (lol)

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

"Shit, wrong soundbite!"

23 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:15:29am

Dick Cheney?

24 bluecheese  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:15:59am

Over at trike force central, they are hoping for a floor fight today.

rMoney and co are trying to mess with the primary rules or something.

25 Targetpractice  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:16:05am

re: #23 NJDhockeyfan

Dick Cheney?

We'll know it's him when the band starts playing "The Imperial March."

26 Varek Raith  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:16:38am

re: #22 Targetpractice

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

"Shit, wrong soundbite!"

REAGAN SMASH!

27 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:16:43am

Clint Eastwood!

28 Sheila Broflovski  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:17:02am

Eric Cartman!

29 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:17:29am

John Galt. He'll come out with Donald Trump, and then fire himself.

30 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:18:02am

re: #28 Learned Mother of Zion

Eric Cartman!

That would be funny!

31 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:18:06am

SPARTACUS!

32 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:18:12am

The black voters who support the GOP...all 5 of them!

33 Targetpractice  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:18:20am

re: #31 Cleo O'Sod McEire

SPARTACUS!

No, I'm Spartacus!

34 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:18:54am

re: #33 Targetpractice

No, I'm Spartacus!

NO! I'M SPARTACUS!

35 Sheila Broflovski  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:19:02am

Maybe it's one of the Kardashians?

36 Varek Raith  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:19:19am

Kanedaaaaa!!!

37 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:19:36am

EL CID!

38 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:19:50am

In true GOP fashion, after all the hype, they'll have Cousin Oliver take the stage

39 dragonfire1981  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:19:54am

Arnold Schwarzenegger?

40 wrenchwench  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:20:05am

re: #19 The Mountain That Blogs

I'm hoping for Herman Cain.

That's the only suggestion better than Joad Cressbeckler.

41 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:20:19am

re: #36 Varek Raith

TETSUO!!!!!

42 bubba zanetti  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:21:02am

Thread convergence:

Imperial March (check)
Battle (check)
Minority outreach (check)

43 erik_t  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:21:11am

Please, Free Market Baby Jesus, deliver to me an Allen West prime-time convention speech.

44 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:21:40am

The Pope!

45 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:21:53am

Tony Perkins.

Tony Perkins Takes a Victory Lap over Republican Party Platform Changes

Family Research Council president Tony Perkins continued to brag about his role in shaping the Republican Party platform, as he along with Religious Right activists like David Barton and James Bopp heavily influenced the document dubbed the “most conservative platform in modern history.” While speaking to Janet Meffed yesterday, Perkins said he “inserted the language as it pertains to marriage and some other key issues” and was happy to report that “we have one of the most conservative platforms that the Republican Party’s ever had.” Perkins also noted that Mitt Romney’s representatives worked closely with him on drafting the platform’s new language.

47 Gus  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:22:44am
48 Big Steve  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:22:47am

Condoleezza Rice

49 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:23:06am

Rudy Giuliani

50 wrenchwench  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:23:31am

re: #48 Big Steve

Condoleezza Rice

She's already on the agenda.

51 erik_t  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:24:07am

re: #49 NJDhockeyfan

Rudy Giuliani

This is even funnier than the Cartman suggestion.

52 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:24:13am

Could we be lucky enough to have David Barton take the stage?

Barton: Cops Should Have Refused to Arrest Arizona Pastor for Illegally Building a Church

Yesterday on "WallBuilders Live," David Barton and Rick Green discussed the case of Arizona pastor Michael Salman who has recently become a Religious Right cause célèbre because he is supposedly being persecuted simply because he wanted to hold Bible study meetings at his home.

In reality, Salman had been attempting to illegally build a church in his back yard and had been holding multiple-weekly church services on his property until he was found guilty of dozens of code violations and sentenced to sixty days in jail.

Barton took up the case today and voiced his outrage, calling on voters in Phoenix to work to remove political leaders in that city for allowing something like this to happen. Barton went on to falsely claim that Salman's home was raided by a SWAT team sent to arrest him and said that law enforcement officers must refuse to participate in things like this because they have an obligation to uphold the Constitution:

53 Big Steve  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:24:30am

re: #50 wrenchwench

She's already on the agenda.

You are right.....I forgot.

54 Sheila Broflovski  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:24:40am

BRYAN FISCHER!

55 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:24:42am

Robert Downey Jr dressed as Iron Man

56 Charleston Chew  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:24:56am

It's this guy!

57 erik_t  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:25:01am

Maybe Mitt can give a Fire-Breathing Severe Conservative Mitt speech to rile up the crowd, and then a Reasonable Moderate Mitt acceptance speech.

58 AK-47%  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:25:16am

Gotta be Sarah.

59 Interesting Times  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:25:19am
60 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:26:34am

re: #54 Learned Mother of Zion

We haven't been that good.

61 The Mongoose  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:27:03am

re: #55 NJDhockeyfan

Robert Downey Jr dressed as Iron Man

How hard would that rule? His speech would just be to kick a bunch of ass and then fly away.

62 Petero1818  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:27:51am

Norma McCorvey

63 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:28:21am
64 Mocking Jay  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:28:52am

re: #55 NJDhockeyfan

Robert Downey Jr dressed as Iron Man

Yeah, because I totally associate a character who walks away from the military industrial complex, believes in science, and is working on green energy in the last movie with Conservatism.

65 Varek Raith  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:29:47am

Punch Rockgroin

66 lawhawk  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:29:59am

Ye have but little imagination.

It's Tupac.

They're going to go on about how he'd would still be alive if they had more firearms. /

67 Mocking Jay  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:30:15am

re: #60 Kragar

We haven't been that good.

You haven't.

The rest of us have been fucking angels.

68 bubba zanetti  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:30:16am

Spuds McKenzie

69 erik_t  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:30:16am

Might this be the most Mitt statement in the history of Mitt?

"You've got a great boss, he runs a great operation here," Mitt Romney told a group of Ohio coal miners at a Murray Energy mine on Aug. 14, before launching into an attack on President Obama's supposed opposition to coal.

I shouldn't need to tell you that the mine was shut down for safety that day, and therefore the workers' attendance was both mandatory and unpaid. You already probably figured that out.

70 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:30:45am

re: #61 The Mongoose

How hard would that rule? His speech would just be to kick a bunch of ass and then fly away.

Even better: The Tardis appears, Rory comes out in his centurion uniform, decks Romney, then leaves.

71 Big Steve  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:31:14am

Bush Sr?

72 Sheila Broflovski  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:31:43am

Emperor Palpatine!

73 lawhawk  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:31:47am

re: #70 Kragar

Naw... it'd have to be either Amy doing the decking or River Song. Because those gingers don't take crap from anyone - even The Doctor himself.

/hello sweetie!

74 Targetpractice  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:32:22am

re: #65 Varek Raith

Punch Rockgroin

Big McLargeHuge.

75 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:32:25am

WTF?

Deaf boy's name violates weapons policy: School

A Nebraska preschool is asking a three-year-old deaf boy to change his name because it violates the school board's weapons policy.

Hunter Spanjer signs his first name by making what looks like shooting gestures with both hands. He crosses his fingers when he does it - a modification to show it's his proper name.

But the Grand Island Public Schools board says its "Weapons in Schools" policy bans "any instrument ... that looks like a weapon." The school wants him to change the sign, a request Hunter's family says is both unfair and silly.

"Anybody that I have talked to thinks this is absolutely ridiculous. This is not threatening in any way," Hunter's grandmother Janet Logue told local news station 1011.

"It's a symbol. It's an actual sign, a registered sign," said Hunter's father, Brian Spanjer.

The school board wants to work out a compromise.

That's about the stupidest thing I ever heard. These idiots are running the school board?

76 Mocking Jay  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:32:25am

re: #69 erik_t

Might this be the most Mitt statement in the history of Mitt?

I shouldn't need to tell you that the mine was shut down for safety that day, and therefore the workers' attendance was both mandatory and unpaid. You already probably figured that out.

...

Moore told Blomquist that managers "communicated to our workforce that the attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend." He said the company did not penalize no-shows.

It wasn't legitimately mandatory.

77 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:33:20am

re: #73 lawhawk

Naw... it'd have to be either Amy doing the decking or River Song. Because those gingers don't take crap from anyone - even The Doctor himself.

/hello sweetie!

Rory got to punch the Doctor and Hitler though. It would be better coming from him.

78 efuseakay  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:34:10am

You fools! Everyone knows it's Chuck Norris!

79 lawhawk  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:34:27am

re: #78 efuseakay

Ted Nugent!

80 gwangung  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:34:38am

re: #75 NJDhockeyfan

WTF?

Deaf boy's name violates weapons policy: School

That's about the stupidest thing I ever heard. These idiots are running the school board?

I thought that was a job requirement for being on a school board.

81 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:34:50am

re: #76 Mocking Jay

...

It wasn't legitimately mandatory.

They would never penalize no shows. This is a coal mine, right? Great place to work. Safety and human welfare above all else along with a GREAT company/worker relationship.

82 Varek Raith  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:34:54am

After this thread it'll be a major letdown.
;)

83 Big Steve  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:35:31am

I know....I know.....its Khaleesi and her three dragons.

84 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:36:22am

The Entire Cast Of Glee!

85 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:37:41am

Cher!

86 Mocking Jay  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:38:02am

Hrm. Do not like Red State's new design. Looks like any other news site now.

87 Petero1818  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:38:44am

Baby Jesus driving a Hummer!

88 Kragar  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:38:49am

Maybe Trump pulled a double fake and will show up after all.

89 nines09  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:39:21am

Clint Eastwood as The Outlaw Josey Wales!

90 Lidane  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:40:35am

re: #55 NJDhockeyfan

Robert Downey Jr dressed as Iron Man

Except that Robert Downey Jr. and his wife gave money to Obama this year. Won't be him.

91 Digital Display  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:41:05am

WOOT!
The Deed to the new place I bought with cash with part of my inheritance arrived today in the mail. I'm jacked! The plan is coming together and hopefully my last move is on the horizon...

92 AK-47%  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:41:14am

re: #75 NJDhockeyfan

WTF?

Deaf boy's name violates weapons policy: School

That's about the stupidest thing I ever heard. These idiots are running the school board?

At least his name is Hunter and not Wanker...

93 Lidane  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:42:08am
94 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:43:08am

re: #92 Expand Your Ground

At least his name is Hunter and not Wanker...

You know those deaf 3 year olds named Hunter are very dangerous, especially when their name appears like a gun.
//

95 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:47:05am

re: #93 Lidane

Fact Check: Partially true. The Obama Administration's plan is simply to wait 90 years and let Nature takes its course. While collecting taxes from them.

96 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:48:38am

Elvis and Jim Morrison!

97 Sionainn  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:50:15am

Is Brian Sandoval, the Republican governor of Nevada, on the schedule anywhere? It was reported a few weeks ago that he was going to have one of the prime time spots, being "Hispanic" and all.

98 bubba zanetti  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:50:56am

Abe Simpson

99 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:53:01am

re: #98 bubba zanetti

Abe Simpson

Followed by a pack of wolves?

100 The Mongoose  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:56:28am

In some seriousness: Has Artur Davis's role at the convention been defined yet?re: #99 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Waste

Followed by a pack of wolves?

And then Palin takes down the wolves with a machine gun from a helicopter, thus completing her entrance. It all fits.

101 CarleeCork  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 10:57:18am

Pamela Geller?

102 William of Orange  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 11:00:11am

Fo a brief moment I thought Charles was the troll on tie GOP convention.

Image: 15xton8.gif


:)

103 Sionainn  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 11:00:12am

re: #97 Sionainn

Is Brian Sandoval, the Republican governor of Nevada, on the schedule anywhere? It was reported a few weeks ago that he was going to have one of the prime time spots, being "Hispanic" and all.

Nope. Sandoval is speaking tonight.

104 William of Orange  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 11:03:02am

re: #1 The Mongoose

The RNC establishment can't possibly think hauling Palin up there could be a good idea. Can they?

Nancy Reagan, maybe. Even at 91 she's got more presence and character than Palin could ever hope to cobble together.

Nancy Reagan is too liberal by now.

105 RediSlip  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 11:37:10am

Judy Collins singing "Send in the Clowns"?

106 wrenchwench  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 11:43:07am

re: #105 RediSlip

Welcome, hatchling.

107 Tiny Alien Kitties are Watching You  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 12:01:44pm

Liberty Prime will be there to speak about the dangers of Chinese Communists...

108 funky chicken  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 12:12:21pm

It's gotta be Palin. I assume Michele Bachmann already has a speaking time? Shudder.

Mark Harmon is supposedly still a republican, but it's hard to image he's crazy enough to want to be a booster for this bunch.

109 Mentis Fugit  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 12:15:35pm

re: #67 Mocking Jay

You haven't.

The rest of us have been fucking angels.

Well THAT'S going to go down well with The Almighty, I must say!

110 Dr Lizardo  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 12:20:39pm

re: #24 bluecheese

There is indeed something afoot; the Freepers are going apeshit over it.

111 Olsonist  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 12:41:50pm

It's got to be military. The RNC schedule has no military and sorry but John McCain doesn't count. It won't be David Patraeus, since that would be a pointless suicide on his part; he's already got a good gig at CIA.

Stanley McChrystal? Kinda doubt he'd want to be on the same stage as Romney.

A member of SEAL Team 6?

112 AntonSirius  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 1:32:22pm

re: #70 Kragar

Even better: The Tardis appears, Rory Amy comes out in his centurion her bobby uniform, decks Romney, then leaves.

Think big, man!

Oh, someone beat me to it. Well, I'm posting it anyway.

113 Flavia  Tue, Aug 28, 2012 11:28:34pm

re: #79 lawhawk

Ted Nugent!

Darn it! First "dragonfire" beats me to JOR ARPAIO, & now this!

Well, that's it - I'm going to bed! (sulk)

114 Thorzdad  Wed, Aug 29, 2012 4:00:42am

Cthullu?

115 S.D.  Thu, Aug 30, 2012 3:59:24am

Sarah Pallin, IMO.


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