Well, I dunno about “nobody,” but these topics do need to be discussed more. A helluvalot more. Its not just ourselves we hurt with our failure to reign in our plutocrats.
I’m not saying everybody in prison is an innocent victim of The Man, obviously. But in a system where conviction rates can run 88 percent or higher, one thing is clear: you’re probably going to jail, whether you’re guilty or not. That’s just the way it is, and that’s apparently how the people want it.
It basically comes down to this country’s obsession with being tough on crime. And why not? After all, the police are never, ever wrong. So why not assume everyone arrested and brought to trial are guilty? Fifth amendment “rights” only get in the way of justice. /so very sarc
(hey, I said it was Cracked, didn’t I?)
Edit: I accidentally linked to page 2 at the top. Fixed.
Of all the wacky ways to make money, I chose perhaps the wackiest. I transported dead bodies from point-of-death to the morgue for autopsies (and perhaps an inappropriate puppet show or two). Rich or poor, famous or anonymous, all were equal when slumming it in the back of my corpse wagon. I lasted two weeks — not long enough to encounter any dormant Highlanders or angry zombies, but long enough to be considered a crusty old veteran. The average body transporter quits that fast. Here’s why …
Read all about what some people put themselves through for $9/h. Do you know anybody who thinks government regulations are evil, that the free-market works, etc? Then staple, stitch, glue, and cement their butts to a chair, and make them read this link all the way through to the end.
Not an accurate title, as this article isn’t entirely focused on the legal system. But here it is.
When I was 19, I got so drunk at a party that I passed out. I woke up in the middle of being raped. When I started to scream, he covered my mouth. I was confused, scared, a virgin, and thanks to TV and movies, I was pretty sure that he would murder me after he was done. All I could think of was how I wanted to see my little brother again, so I just lay there, with tears streaming down my face, waiting for it to end. When he finally left to get a cigarette, I snuck out to get help, hid in the bathroom with my friends, and cried. I’ll call him “R” for the rest of this article. It stands for rapist and kind of reminds of a pirate, and pirates are funny.
Look, this is a rough topic. I’m gonna take the levity where I can find it, okay?
I forgot to post this link earlier this week. Its a webcomic I wanted to upload, but it exceeded the 500k limit. That’s because the artist went all out on this episode with two huge full color panels, only to set-up a joke in the third b&w panel. So I had to settle for sharing the link alone. (because I’ve never done that before ;)
Off the top of my head, I’m pretty sure this series is technically SFW. However, the humor is not always for “all” audiences. I’d say roughly pg-13-ish give-or-take. This particular episode I’ve linked to is just politics though. I recommend seeing at least this one.
For those who want the insider POV of a troll: 4 Things I Learned About Teenage Trolls (From Being One)
Internet trolling is officially mainstream now. Trolls haven’t been in the media this much since those action figures of naked old people with rainbow hair inexplicably became all the rage the ’90s. It seems like every month it’s something new, from leaking stolen celebrity nudes, to harassing the families of suicide victims, to tricking teen girls into cutting themselves, to trying to drive transgender people to mass suicide, to divulging murder photos before the police even find the victim, to kick-starting a righteous crusade for gaming ethics. Part of me wants to tell the little scamps to turn off their computers and then set them on fire, but I have no right to say that … because I, too, was a teenage troll.
If you’d prefer to look at the results instead: Why Pulling ‘The Interview’ Proves We’ve All Become Cowards
Sony was hacked, a bunch of embarrassing out-of-touch-rich-executive emails were shared with the world, and for one brief second North Korean sympathizers actually made the world a better place.
Then those same anonymous sources threatened mass murder if the film opened. Theaters began pulling out like a bunch of condomless teenagers and, ultimately, Sony canceled The Interview’s release. New Regency followed by canceling an upcoming Steve Carell film about North Korea, and it’s become abundantly clear that we won’t see any movies set in that country for a long, long time.
All this may seem like a sudden burst of crazy brought on by the Sony hack, but it’s really just the culmination of years’ worth of wussing out.
People make (most often) empty threats and we keep caving in. Authorities are too busy killing unarmed people on the streets, as well as torturing and/or bombing people abroad, to do anything about it. So you don’t need a gun or a bomb anymore to cause mayhem. You just need to claim via twitter that you have one. You don’t even have to be on the same continent.
Heath Ledger’s Joker has won.
My favorite line:
One of humanity’s strongest urges is to solve problems, right? God, I hope so, because that’s the least misanthropic thing I’m going to say in this article.
Maybe Futurama’s Bender was onto something when he said that everyone’s a jerk.
I found this funny as hell when I first saw it back in Jan ‘12. But I barely chuckle now that PDs across America are more determined than ever to prove this sketch is true to life. Or at least the parts about cops using lethal force over little things and otherwise acting as if they’re above the law.
Yes, that means there are other jokes as well. Immature jokes at that, including one that could be considered a bit sexist and/or ageist. You’ve been warned.
Mildly NSFW (bleeped-out language)
CollegeHumor seems to be doing a bit of cross-promotion with CoD: Advanced Warfare. Consider that disclosure. That aside, it was funny because… Actually I can’t explain without spoiling it.
As for the game being advertised, I haven’t played it. Also I’m not a CoD fan. Just never got into it. But I hearsay this one did too little to distinguish itself from past CoD games, despite a premise that implies there ought to be plenty of new tricks. Still, this video is funny.
America’s No. 1 holiday celebrating violence and candy is just around the corner, and this year it looks to be better than ever, as the glorious union of art and technology has given us several exciting new ways to decorate our houses for the bitchingest Halloween party in history. Provided you have, like, tons of money. Otherwise you can’t afford any of this nonsense. But maybe you can score an invite from someone who can, because a party where everyone is wearing digitally amorphous face masks in front of a glowing Herculean skull is something we all deserve to attend.
Personally, I think the article started with the best one. I look forward to the day that one comes down in price so it can be deployed at “haunted” attractions. “I ain’t afraid of no ghWhat the f*** is that?!”