More: 13 Texts From Last Night (From Famous Superheroes)

In this audio series, Vice President Biden will tell the story behind a photo — of where he was, why it matters to him, and how the experience fits into the broader narrative of this Administration. From meetings at the White House to travels around the country, the Vice President will share his perspective in candid, behind-the-scenes snapshots. In other words, he’ll explain what it’s like “Being Biden.”

I am really enjoying this series of audio updates and reminiscences, and I just wanted all of you to also enjoy.

More: Being Biden

So, I was sitting on my balcony: smoking, drinking beer, and reading Diego Gambetta’s Codes of the Underworld, when I hear someone yelling.

It’s my neighbor, two apartments over. She’s been locked out of her apartment, stuck on her balcony. Can I help her?

Sure.

First, I go down the hall and see if her front door is open. No dice. Locked.

Second, I go down to the concierge to get the rental agent on duty to get the master key to open my neighbor’s door. That works — but the chain is on.

Third, I attempt to slip the chain through various means (with the rental agent there), to no avail. I suggest we call the super on duty to bring up some bolt-cutters.

Fourth, super on duty shows up without bolt-cutters. He decides it’s best to try to break the chain through main force. He gives it 2 or 3 tries with no joy.

Fifth, I suggest he go get some bolt-cutters and I’ll try to break the chain while he’s gone. He agrees.

Sixth, never underestimate a fat man with a knowledge of physics. One shoulder-slam, and the chain was broke. The engineer hadn’t taken two steps away yet.

“You’re strong,” he said.

“Not really,” I replied.

Seventh, neighbor is rescued from her balcony — the problem is that the locking mechanism on her sliding door was totally broken, and was usually set as unlocked. This time, it shifted to locked.

So, all is well, neighbor is rescued, and I feel a little bit like a superhero.

Weirdest thing to happen to me in a month.

Anyway, here’s my thesis:

Raiders of the Lost Ark is not an action-adventure movie about an archaeologist who plays by his own rules and saves the day. Instead, the film is an exploration of Marion Ravenwood’s crippling drug addiction. An addiction that was born from her unhealthy relationship and continued association with Indiana Jones.

Is it true? Who cares. Can I prove it? Well, not proof in the sense of research or evidence — proof only so far as crafting an internally consistent argument, relying solely upon the clues within the movie.

More: 4 Reasons ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ Is Secretly About Drugs

Ignore all the comments on the YouTube site

Between Jesus Christ Superstar and Jesus of Montreal (check out those movies!), I got a better feel for a blessed man than some weird-ass demigod…

We the people
In order to form a more perfect union
Establish justice, insure domestic tranquility,
Provide for the common defense,
Promote the general welfare and
Secure the blessings of liberty
To ourselves and our posterity
Do ordain and establish this Constitution
for the
United States of America.

(emphasis mine)

Wow, who knew the Founding Fathers were a bunch of socialists, talking about helping out other people and whatnot?

/////

It’s from last week; I should’ve paged it then.

After the previous essay on Benghazi, I got a bunch of email.

The gist of which is best summed up as:

Okay, Benghazi, fine, whatever. Fine. But what about the IRS thing? Huh, what about that? How are you going to defend your boy Obozo on that, huh? Huh? It’s Obumer’s Watergate, Man, he’s going down! Impeachment! Impeachment!

Right.

The IRS scandal.

You mean the IRS scandal where not one, not a single one, of the targeted conservative groups requesting 501(c)3 or (c)4 designations were denied tax exempt status despite being engaged in blatantly political activities in direct violation of the intent of the tax code? You mean the IRS scandal where not one of the targeted organizations were denied their rights as citizens of the United States or, in point of fact, were not harmed in any way? You mean the IRS scandal where no actual laws were broken? Where there was no actual cover up? And where the IRS itself found the problem and corrected it and then reported it to the American people?

You mean that “scandal?”

Right.

Folks, there’s a scandal here alright, starting with the one where hysterical conspiracy mongering conservatives in Congress will now use this non-issue as yet another excuse for obstructionism, yet another excuse to beat their fleshy chests in a pity party of make-believe persecution while managing to avoid doing any of the actual work they supposedly get paid for.

More: Stonekettle Station: The IRS Scandal: Tempest in a Teapot

* And I only say “Semi-Nothingburger” because there’s an couple interesting aspects about the situation that should be looked into: profiling and keywords due to volume (had how to do that without overmuch bias), an understaffed and underfunded agency, and other stuff.

I wonder… What aspects of the situation, from a rational standpoint, can other Lizardim add?

Oh joy! Just a couple blocks from my office…

A sinkhole at the intersection of 14th and F streets in Northwest Washington has closed streets around that intersection, and police warn that the closures could remain in place for two days.

Crews are on the scene to repair the sinkhole. As a result, 14th Street is blocked between New York and Pennsylvania Avenues NW and F Street is closed between 13th and 15th streets NW.

More: Sinkhole at 14th and F Closes Downtown D.C. Streets

Tim Minchin’s live performance of Woody Allen Jesus at the Coronet in London, November 2012.

I am just amused.