Bobby Jindal walks out of his mansion’s foyer, and says:

I know the Resident in Chief has just told you to stay in school and work hard, but the Republican Party would like you to know that it’s not really necessary. Just read your Bible, kids, and don’t bother listening to any of those evil secular scientists. They’re just trying to trick you.

If any of you are suffering from demonic possession, see me after school in Room 2B.

I’m Bobby Jindal and I approve this message.