re: #284 A Mom Anon

Thing is, this is really the first time I ever felt the need to talk to someone that much. I guess what I needed was to hear that I wasn’t some sort of freakosaurus and that I would be ok. Hell, a simple, “let’s meet for coffee” or something like that would have been a big deal. But nooo. What honestly helped me the most was going to the ER and having all those nurses tell me I was going to be alright, that whatever was bothering me was not more important than my health and that I wasn’t crazy or dying. I could see it if I was a PIA and whined all the time, but I’m honestly mostly an upbeat person and really self reliant. I had to be as a kid, coming from a hot mess of a family and being on my own since age 17. I usually can fight my way out of low points. This time I really needed someone and no one was there except to pass judgment or tell me I needed to put on my big girl panties (literally,OMG). I was kinda stunned.

Sounds like you and I came from a similar place. And I went through 2 rapes when I was a young woman, also, and had to deal with them myself since slut shaming (I was divorced, too) was so damned popular 50 yrs ago. No counseling, no court dates, nothing. In the second case, I was 22 yrs old and when we were trying to find where I had been taken, from one county to another, one of the deputies remarked that he didn’t blame the 2 guys (yes, it was 2), because I was “so good looking”. That’s how my kidnapping and rape was treated. Just written off. It’s a wonder I’m as sane as I am and didn’t cave in to total alcoholism or drug abuse—I think that was because of my kids and the responsibility I felt for them, even though sometimes it seemed overwhelming.