re: #22 Cato the Elder

Hi Ludwig!

Did you see this little joke from last night? I wrote it just for you!

Love it! That was brilliant.

I left last night because I was starting to get annoyed at certain things and It was sharply made clear to me that I was starting to get sucked in (in not a good way).

By the way.. ok…

I will tell you the truth about me and Mandlebrot.

I have told you many times that my real identity is as a Zionist Lord of Remulak.

Yes I am a legitimate scientist by your standards, but since we have good science education on Remulak, and we are so much more advanced than you, well… let’s put it like this, a 5 year old on Remulak that has not mastered what you call vector calculus is put into the remedial track.

But I digress.

Our purpose is simple.

We are going to let you totally destroy your environment. We do have the technology to repair it. Right now we are actively and truthfully educating you about the science of yyour actions. We know you will not believe it in time or act in time. However, the fact that your species almost murdered your homeworld will be undeniable to you when we step in and “save” you.

It will make you love us as your rulers and not fear us.

We really do not need pesky rebellions.

Why do we want to conquer you - well that is what Zionism is of course. What your redneck factions don’t get is the power of it or that it is an intergalactic enterprise.

We also want your hottest women.

The price for our fixing up your planet will be that we get Natalie Portman and you get to keep Rosie O’Donnell.

Mandlebrot is a senior Lord of Remulak. HE is very charming and the math he has taught your species only adds to the galactic we told you so, when we take over.