Hi everyone! Sarah here…

Ya know, isn’t it just great how awesome Americans are taking charge of schools this way? This is a great movement in America, and it just makes me so proud to be a Conservative American!

You know, lots of left-wing stuff gets taught to our kids at school today - really bad stuff that terrorists write from overseas like from Soviet Russiana or France. You know, stuff that doesn’t really make any sense which is why we Americans don’t come up with it!

And there’s a reason for this: Scientists.

Now, I know to a lot of you in this audience, that is a dirty word, and I agree! After all, have you ever seen a scientist with a good hair cut? You betcha haven’t! The fact is that they don’t wash much at all, and they’re trying to do the same to our kids: make them dirty.

You know, it’s important to keep our kids clean because it’s part of the great plan for God’s America, which I fully support, and I know you do as well.

That’s why I support changing the school books nationwide to reflect this stand against leftist science which really is Obama’s kinda Marxism. And I should know! Remember, I can see Russia from my porch!

You know, that’s why I also support home schooling for God’s children - the children who pray to the right kinda God on the right side of the issue. Because, we all know how old the earth really is, don’t we? We don’t need to spend billions of dollars to try to find out the answer to a question we’ve had answered in our book since thousands of years!

The fact is that instead of pointing the big telescope “Bubble” thing in the sky outwards, they should point it on the Bible and read God’s word real close.

Maybe then those scientists might get a clue!

Well, I’m going to keep asking these questions, because they’re important questions! And I’m going to keep sticking up for people who are trying to take back science from the scientists!

See you all later?

You betcha!

_{(This parody was channeled by LGF operative Summer.)}