A History Lesson From Randy Newman: “The Great Nations of Europe”

Covering the last 400 years of Western civilization in two minutes and 48 seconds
Music • Views: 50,214

YouTube

The Great Nations of Europe
Had gathered on the shore
They’d conquered what was behind them
But now they wanted more
So they looked to the mighty ocean
And they took to the western sea
The great nations of Europe in the sixteenth century

Hide your wives and daughters
Hide the groceries too
Great nations of Europe coming through

The Grand Canary Islands
First land to which they came
They conquered all the canaries there
Which gave the land its name
There were natives there called Guanches
Guanches by the score
But bullets, disease, the Portugese, and they weren’t there anymore

Now they’re gone, they’re gone, they’re really gone
You’ve never seen anyone so gone
A painting in a museum
Some lines written in a book
But you won’t find a live one no matter where you look

Hide your wives and daughters
Hide the groceries too
Great nations of Europe coming through

Columbus sailed for India
Found Salvador instead
He shook hands with some Indians there
Soon they all were dead
They got TB and typhoid and athlete’s foot
Diptheria and the flu
Excuse me - Great nations coming through

Balboa found the Pacific
And on the trail one day
He met some friendly Indians
Whom the church told him were gay
So he had them torn apart by dogs on religious grounds they say
The great nations of Europe were quite holy in their way

Now they’re gone, they’re gone, they’re really gone
You’ve never seen anyone so gone
Some bones hidden in a canyon
Paintings in a cave
There’s no use trying to save them
There’s nothing left to save

Hide your wives and daughters
Hide your sons as well
With the great nations of Europe you never can tell

From where you and I are standing
At the dawn of a century
Europes have sprung up everywhere as anyone can see
But there on the horizon as a possiblity
Some bug from out of Africa might come for you and me
Destroying everything in its path
From sea to shining sea
Like the great nations of Europe
In the sixteenth century

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90 comments
1
Bubblehead II  May 25, 2016 • 4:20:38pm

The first parts were the will of god. The last stanza was the work of god punishing us for our sins for accepting the LGBT/satan’s agenda.

1/2 sarc

2
KGxvi  May 25, 2016 • 4:22:00pm

And yet, faced with Clinton vs Trump, I’m willing to consider a deal where the eastern seaboard is returned to British rule, the midwest to French rule, and the west to Spanish rule

3
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 4:22:45pm

re: #2 KGxvi

And yet, faced with Clinton vs Trump, I’m willing to consider a deal where the eastern seaboard is returned to British rule, the midwest to French rule, and the west to Spanish rule

Do we on the East coast get the cool pubs with British rule?

4
KGxvi  May 25, 2016 • 4:23:27pm

re: #3 HappyWarrior

Do we on the East coast get the cool pubs with British rule?

yes, but we in the west get siestas, so I’m not sure who wins.

5
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 4:24:43pm

re: #4 KGxvi

yes, but we in the west get siestas, so I’m not sure who wins.

You do get the better food too.

6
Eclectic Cyborg  May 25, 2016 • 4:25:53pm

The lyrics alone are enough to make me love this tune.

7
Eric The Fruit Bat  May 25, 2016 • 4:28:09pm

If Donald Trump gets elected, he’ll become like President Clark of Babylon 5.

We cannot allow this to happen.

8
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 4:28:21pm

Drinks are on a wash though. Sangria and margaritas versus ale and whiskey. Tough!

9
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 4:34:58pm

re: #2 KGxvi

And yet, faced with Clinton vs Trump, I’m willing to consider a deal where the eastern seaboard is returned to British rule, the midwest to French rule, and the west to Spanish rule

But Washington (well, the whole Oregon territory) was claimed by Spain, Russia, Britain, and the United States at the same time. What happens to us?

10
KGxvi  May 25, 2016 • 4:36:35pm

re: #9 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

But Washington (well, the whole Oregon territory) was claimed by Spain, Russia, Britain, and the United States at the same time. What happens to us?

Probably goes to Spain. I mean, really, either way, we’ll be part of the EU, so it doesn’t matter that much, big picture.

11
calochortus  May 25, 2016 • 4:40:59pm

Minor nit-pick. The Canary Islands were named after dogs (canarias) not canary birds.

12
Timothy Watson  May 25, 2016 • 4:41:34pm

re: #9 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

But Washington (well, the whole Oregon territory) was claimed by Spain, Russia, Britain, and the United States at the same time. What happens to us?

Canada by way of Britain.

13
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 4:43:51pm

re: #12 Timothy Watson

Canada by way of Britain.

I can live with that….

14
stpaulbear  May 25, 2016 • 4:44:08pm

deleted: linked to wrong comment

15
Stanley Sea  May 25, 2016 • 4:46:47pm
16
Backwoods_Sleuth  May 25, 2016 • 4:48:52pm

re: #15 Stanley Sea

[Embedded content]

17
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 4:52:22pm

re: #16 Backwoods_Sleuth

[Embedded content]

So Clinton actually did more than her predecessors did but yet she’s just awful and corrupt.

18
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 4:53:27pm

From wehuntedthemammoth:

Best Friends 4 Ever
19
nines09  May 25, 2016 • 4:53:32pm

I just comfort myself knowing we sent a menu to a drive thru diner to deep space. With pictures. And directions.
What could go wrong?

Bob? Is that you?
20
wrenchwench  May 25, 2016 • 4:54:05pm

Randy Newman is so good.

Randy Newman - Louisiana 1927

21
Skip Intro  May 25, 2016 • 4:55:49pm

re: #17 HappyWarrior

So Clinton actually did more than her predecessors did but yet she’s just awful and corrupt.

Yeah but what her predecessors did is old news so who ca….

HEY! Trump just brought up Vince Foster! This is HUUUGE! Fire up the media clown car!

22
Skip Intro  May 25, 2016 • 4:57:35pm

From Donald Trump’s tippy top secret campaign notebook.

All the terrible things Hillary Clinton has done — in one big list

marketwatch.com

23
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 5:01:33pm

re: #22 Skip Intro

From Donald Trump’s tippy top secret campaign notebook.

All the terrible things Hillary Clinton has done — in one big list

marketwatch.com

Cruz, Rubio, and Kasich are wondering how the hell did I lose to this guy and then they remember “Oh yeah that’s right, our base is filled with racist idiots who have been dying for someone to actually say the things that past candidates are more subtle about.”

24
Bubblehead II  May 25, 2016 • 5:01:47pm

You know, we laugh/cry at the shit from that comes out of the Southern States. But this just has me

120 days (maybe) in jail. That’s it. You think the Southern States are fucked. Better start looking to the North West.

At least the “cough” Judge “cough” gave him more time the than the P.A recommended.

Yep, Idaho, to great to hate, but we let child rapist’s off so long as they marry their victims.

PUKE!

25
Skip Intro  May 25, 2016 • 5:03:23pm

re: #24 Bubblehead II

I’m surprised the daughter isn’t in jail for miscarrying.

26
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 5:08:21pm

This is one of Randy’s most amazing songs. A true masterpiece.

Randy Newman - I Want You To Hurt Like I Do (Berlin 1994)

27
PhillyPretzel  May 25, 2016 • 5:11:26pm

OT My credit union saw fit to give me one of those “chip” cards. I have read so much about how they can be easily copied. Right now I have my chip card wrapped up in homemade aluminum foil envelope and I am looking at getting a RFID blocking wallet but they are so $$$. Should I continue to use my homemade envelope or get one of those RFID wallets or sleeves?

28
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 5:12:32pm

The original album version of that song. It’s just a killer.

Randy Newman - I Just Want You to Hurt Like I Do

29
Snarknado!  May 25, 2016 • 5:15:04pm

re: #27 PhillyPretzel

OT My credit union saw fit to give me one of those “chip” cards. I have read so much about how they can be easily copied. Right now I have my chip card wrapped up in home- made an aluminum foil envelope and I am looking at getting a RFID blocking wallet but they are so $$$. Should I continue to use my homemade envelope or get one of those RFID wallets or sleeves?

You can get RFID sleeves very cheaply. Also, once you have more than one chip card, you can put them all together in your wallet and they’ll interfere with one another, so it’s a temporary problem.

(The effective range of a chip reader is about 14 inches, so you only need to worry about it if you’re carrying the card outside your home.)

30
The Vicious Babushka  May 25, 2016 • 5:15:35pm

YOU WANT ANTHEMS? THIS IS AN ANTHEM.

Tim Minchin: Peace Anthem For Palestine

31
PhillyPretzel  May 25, 2016 • 5:17:33pm

re: #29 Snarknado!

I always have my card with me. And what I read is that wrapping it up in aluminum foil knocks the range down to 2 inches. someone has to have the reader practically on top of the card with the foil.

32
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 5:18:42pm

Robert Reich is still trying to talk some damn sense into Bernie supporters and it’s still not going well

TBogg also reprints his “Your Mumia sweatshirt won’t get you into heaven anymore” rant from 2008. Good times.

33
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 5:19:44pm

re: #32 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

Robert Reich is still trying to talk some damn sense into Bernie supporters and it’s still not going well

TBogg also reprints his “Your Mumia sweatshirt won’t get you into heaven anymore” rant from 2008. Good times.

I hope Reich is realizing that the far left of the party that he’s decided to hitch his boat to are filled with immature children.

34
Dave In Austin  May 25, 2016 • 5:20:14pm

re: #28 Charles Johnson

Randy Newman state of mind tonite Charles? Wife and I were there a couple of days ago.

35
Snarknado!  May 25, 2016 • 5:21:33pm

re: #31 PhillyPretzel

Yes, that’s more or less what the sleeve does — but it’s much more convenient and doesn’t crinkle.

Edit: also, since you’re about to have more chip cards (i.e. All the Cards), a ten-pack of them will save lots of aggravation.

36
PhillyPretzel  May 25, 2016 • 5:23:22pm

re: #35 Snarknado!

Crinkle does not bother me. And I fold it like the gemstone papers I handled many years ago. Thank you for the advice.

37
Eric The Fruit Bat  May 25, 2016 • 5:25:52pm

re: #27 PhillyPretzel

That all depends. If it has a symbol that shows 3 waves (like 3 increasing parenthesis), then that indicates a NFC-type device which may be subject to a RF attack.

OTOH, if it has metal contacts on the front surface where you are supposed to insert it into a POS PIN pad/reader, then that kind of card is not subject to attack.

38
Great White Snark  May 25, 2016 • 5:26:55pm

re: #15 Stanley Sea

39
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 5:27:07pm

I keep my RFID keycard for the apartment building in my left hip pocket so I just have to kind of lean into the detector. I find if I have my car keys in the same pocket, they absorb enough of the signal to bitch up the whole detail.

40
PhillyPretzel  May 25, 2016 • 5:27:47pm

re: #37 Eric The Fruit Bat

It is a piece of metal embedded in the card.

41
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 5:30:18pm

re: #38 Great White Snark

[Embedded content]

Like every other HUGE BREAKING STORY about Hillary’s email server, I predict this is going to be yet another HUGE BREAKING NOTHINGBURGER.

It’s long past time to stop with this fakety fake of a fake scandal.

42
Great White Snark  May 25, 2016 • 5:32:09pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Hence my rather narrow question. Did she break existing rules or not? “everyone else was doing it too” is really weak tea One situation might be the accusation was wholly false. Another is she broke some rules but nothing serious in consequence.

Right now objectivity is in hiding, given the campaigns and admit it, the most frightening GOP candidate in our lives.

43
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 5:33:30pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Like every other HUGE BREAKING STORY about Hillary’s email server, I predict this is going to be yet another HUGE BREAKING NOTHINGBURGER.

It’s long past time to stop with this fakety fake of a fake scandal.

Hell, they’re still getting the vapors because the biggest fucking law firm in Arkansas occasionally handled some cases for the state government….

44
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 5:33:52pm

re: #42 Great White Snark

Hence my rather narrow question. Did she break existing rules or not? “everyone else was doing it too” is really weak tea

Don’t care. It doesn’t matter. It’s being hyped beyond all reason.

45
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 5:34:27pm

re: #42 Great White Snark

Hence my rather narrow question. Did she break existing rules or not? “everyone else was doing it too” is really weak tea

NO. IT. IS. NOT. It disposes of the question altogether. Immediately. NEXT!!

46
Great White Snark  May 25, 2016 • 5:35:34pm

re: #44 Charles Johnson

Don’t care. It doesn’t matter. It’s being hyped beyond all reason.

We have the option of ignoring the hype and just absorbing the reports conclusions.

47
stpaulbear  May 25, 2016 • 5:35:51pm

re: #32 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

Robert Reich is still trying to talk some damn sense into Bernie supporters and it’s still not going well

TBogg also reprints his “Your Mumia sweatshirt won’t get you into heaven anymore” rant from 2008. Good times.

I’ll repeat from the previous thread, TBogg posting shit to the PUMAs in 2008 while he was on FireDogLake was just pure awesomeness. TBogg’s original purple blog before he joined FDL was no-holes-barred the funnest blog around. He was a much better writer there than at FDL (he pretty quickly realized the place took itself far to seriously) You didn’t need to register to comment and the threads would sometimes get insane.

48
Barefoot Grin  May 25, 2016 • 5:42:38pm

re: #11 calochortus

Minor nit-pick. The Canary Islands were named after dogs (canarias) not canary birds.

Buzz kill!

49
EmmaAnne  May 25, 2016 • 5:44:07pm

re: #42 Great White Snark

Hence my rather narrow question. Did she break existing rules or not? “everyone else was doing it too” is really weak tea

I actually disagree with this. “Someone else broke the rules” is weak tea, but “everyone else broke the rules” indicates the rules were unworkable.

50
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 5:47:08pm

re: #49 EmmaAnne

I actually disagree with this. “Someone else broke the rules” is weak tea, but “everyone else broke the rules” indicates the rules were unworkable.

It’s a politically-driven fake scandal, invented and hyped to have something new to attack Clinton with, since everyone’s sick and tired of Whitewater. Fakety fake.

51
Kragar  May 25, 2016 • 5:47:21pm
52
HappyWarrior  May 25, 2016 • 5:49:43pm

re: #51 Kragar

[Embedded content]

Tell me something I don’t know. Been a fan of Don’s ever since Traffic.

53
Backwoods_Sleuth  May 25, 2016 • 5:50:18pm

oh dear…

I got nothin’…

54
plansbandc  May 25, 2016 • 5:50:30pm

My father, the Trump voter, texted me last night that he “couldn’t believe Albuquerque was rioting”. Yeah, I’m sure.

55
Great White Snark  May 25, 2016 • 5:52:08pm

re: #49 EmmaAnne

I actually disagree with this. “Someone else broke the rules” is weak tea, but “everyone else broke the rules” indicates the rules were unworkable.

That is something we hear in these kinds of things that supporters are happy with and critics, often rightly, point out a frequent violation is far more often a mark of poor enforcement and management than a bad rule. But admitting mistakes and moving on is unpossible in this environment. Objectivity is in hiding until after November. In the Decline To State Party HQ/safe house.

56
gocart mozart  May 25, 2016 • 5:52:13pm

Number 66 will shock you!!
re: #23 HappyWarrior

57
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 5:54:55pm
58
Kragar  May 25, 2016 • 5:55:09pm

re: #52 HappyWarrior

Tell me something I don’t know.

I once drove 25 minutes to run up 3 flights of stairs, tackle a guy on a balcony, kick him, tell him “STOP SMOKING!” then drove back home.

59
Barefoot Grin  May 25, 2016 • 6:01:18pm

re: #58 Kragar

I once drove 25 minutes to run up 3 flights of stairs, tackle a guy on a balcony, kick him, tell him “STOP SMOKING!” then drove back home.

You should have at least laid a stealth nicotine patch on him or shoved a lozenge up his anus-butt.

60
Great White Snark  May 25, 2016 • 6:02:13pm

re: #50 Charles Johnson

Her point is refuted see page 1 as refers to changes in 2009. And of course HRC herself admitted mistakes. Now we see those reflected in the report. Also second paragraph “Context”.

61
b.d.  May 25, 2016 • 6:02:27pm

re: #57 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Somebody better warn Trump that if he picks a moderate as VP then Ryan will try and impeach Trump so he can get someone he can work with.

Yeah…someone needs to tell him that.

62
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 6:03:50pm
63
Bubblehead II  May 25, 2016 • 6:03:50pm

Night Lizards. May your rock be warm and you and yours prosper. See you in the morning.

Youtube Video

And may the Deity of your choice smile down upon all of you as well.

64
KGxvi  May 25, 2016 • 6:04:36pm

re: #20 wrenchwench

I love that song, yet to come across a version that I don’t love.

65
Barefoot Grin  May 25, 2016 • 6:08:01pm

re: #62 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

It’s too bad it’s obscene, because that tweet response to Trump that showed up on CNN is perfect: “is your cock the same orange color as your skin?”

66
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 6:08:26pm

re: #60 Great White Snark

That’s OK, I’ll pass. I really, really don’t care. Wake me if she’s indicted. Zzzzzzz…

67
Bill and Opus for 2016!  May 25, 2016 • 6:09:17pm

For those of you who follow comic books, there was an instance of art imitating life this week.
As a background on the image below, it came about as a result of his being seduced by being told he could bring everything back to “the good old days” of the societal norms of the 1950s with all of the trappings that implies.

BIG DAMN SPOILERS ON THE IMAGE BELOW.

68
The Vicious Babushka  May 25, 2016 • 6:11:02pm

THE HUMAN TRUMPIPEDE

69
GlutenFreeJesus  May 25, 2016 • 6:11:43pm

re: #53 Backwoods_Sleuth

In other words. He can’t find a woman or minority that wants to be his VP

70
thedopefishlives  May 25, 2016 • 6:12:28pm

re: #67 Bill and Opus for 2016!

And on that topic, apparently, the Captain America fans recoiled in horror as a bunch of neo-Nazis started appearing from the woodwork. I don’t think Marvel thought this through all the way.

71
gocart mozart  May 25, 2016 • 6:12:36pm

Article written by David Dunning. Yes, of the Dunning Krugers.

72
Charles Johnson  May 25, 2016 • 6:12:44pm

PROOF THAT DONALD TRUMP IS A MINION OF SATAN

73
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  May 25, 2016 • 6:13:00pm

re: #69 GlutenFreeJesus

In other words. He can’t find a woman or minority they wants to be his VP

Oh, I’m sure Michele Fiore would jump at the chance….

74
Great White Snark  May 25, 2016 • 6:15:00pm

re: #66 Charles Johnson

I totally get ignoring the ramblings of Issa et al. So much so I await more objective sources and official, rather than partisan reports. We had one of those released today.

75
BeachDem  May 25, 2016 • 6:17:31pm

re: #51 Kragar

[Embedded content]

re: #52 HappyWarrior

Tell me something I don’t know. Been a fan of Don’s ever since Traffic.

Then, if you haven’t watched it, I recommend “House of Lies.” (as a bonus, you get Kristen Bell as well.)

imdb.com

76
Dave In Austin  May 25, 2016 • 6:20:23pm

Bernie’s bird and Donald’s fly….. Something there, I just can’t put my finger on it…

77
Stanley Sea  May 25, 2016 • 6:21:15pm

re: #72 Charles Johnson

PROOF THAT DONALD TRUMP IS A MINION OF SATAN

[Embedded content]

Need to photo shop a surfer in the tube of hair on his left side.

78
The Vicious Babushka  May 25, 2016 • 6:23:02pm

re: #72 Charles Johnson

PROOF THAT DONALD TRUMP IS A MINION OF SATAN

[Embedded content]

CLASSIC URBAN LEGEND

79
b_sharp  May 25, 2016 • 6:23:53pm

re: #76 Dave In Austin

Bernie’s bird and Donald’s fly….. Something there, I just can’t put my finger on it…

Not sure about Bernie’s bird, other than too many suffered from apophenia when they saw it, but Trump’s fly proves beyond a reasonable doubt that he’s a zombie.

80
Romantic Heretic  May 25, 2016 • 6:24:48pm

re: #7 Eric The Fruit Bat

If Donald Trump gets elected, he’ll become like President Clark of Babylon 5.

We cannot allow this to happen.

First thing I thought of when I saw that.

That’s what makes this war different from anything we’v fought in before. This time we know every one we kill.

81
Romantic Heretic  May 25, 2016 • 6:30:49pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

But the media must have a scandal. Everything else is so boring and thus unprofitable.

So a scandal has to be made up if there isn’t a real one.

82
darthstar  May 25, 2016 • 6:31:44pm

Best Trump gif yet…I hope you’ve already had dinner.

Image: giphy.gif

83
Barefoot Grin  May 25, 2016 • 6:32:26pm

re: #82 darthstar

Best Trump gif yet…I hope you’ve already had dinner.

Image: giphy.gif

“It’s a Baby Ruth!”

84
darthstar  May 25, 2016 • 6:33:03pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Like every other HUGE BREAKING STORY about Hillary’s email server, I predict this is going to be yet another HUGE BREAKING NOTHINGBURGER.

It’s long past time to stop with this fakety fake of a fake scandal.

I”m just sad that fuckity fuck fuck fuck has been PG rated to fakety fake fake.

85
darthstar  May 25, 2016 • 6:33:40pm

re: #83 Barefoot Grin

“It’s a Baby Ruth!”

Bonus points for referencing the most remarkable dramatic film in human history.

86
The Vicious Babushka  May 25, 2016 • 6:38:40pm

Misty Copeland has changed the face of American ballet (also the hips, thighs and butt)

87
klys (maker of Silmarils)  May 25, 2016 • 6:38:54pm

Oh god playoff sportspuck oh god.

88
Romantic Heretic  May 25, 2016 • 6:51:36pm

re: #71 gocart mozart

Article written by David Dunning. Yes, of the Dunning Krugers.

[Embedded content]

The Ancient Oracle said I was the wisest of all the Greeks because I alone of all the Greeks knew that I knew nothing. - Socrates

Words to live by.

89
Patricia Kayden  May 26, 2016 • 1:13:57am

re: #60 Great White Snark

[Embedded content]

Her point is refuted see page 1 as refers to changes in 2009. And of course HRC herself admitted mistakes. Now we see those reflected in the report. Also second paragraph “Context”.

So? What do you want us to do about this? It’s not a scandal. Move on. The only important thing now is to defeat Trump. That’s it. Could care less about Clinton’s email server.

90
S'latch  May 26, 2016 • 7:13:45am

“Some bug from out of Africa might come for you and me”

Beautiful the way he sings that line.

Now, let’s get some walls built to protect our Little Europe, and all the Little Europes of the world.


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