Crazy Amazon Review of the Day: ‘Mine Has a Owl In It’

It’s hard to sleep with all the hooting
Weird • Views: 24,002

I was shopping for a new mattress at Amazon, and found a great deal on this Sleep Innovations 10-inch Memory Foam Mattress. As usual, I started reading the customer reviews to see what people who’d bought it had to say about the experience, and discovered the following comment from someone who was not happy at all with the product. And note that it’s a verified purchaser.

Got a bad product, December 10, 2011
By I LOVE AMAZON - See all my reviews
Amazon Verified Purchase

This mattress is really great and comfterbale but mine has a owl in it. i thoght that in time the mattress will expend and this owl will go a way but now two month has past and it still there.

If I buy it, I wonder if I can include some special instructions to make sure they remove any owls?

Jump to bottom

135 comments
1 Varek Raith  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:22:43pm

Lol

2 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:26:12pm

Submit that one here.

3 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:29:35pm

Not sure if trolling or...

4 PhillyPretzel  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:30:42pm

It looks like someone needs a spell checker. /

5 The Ghost of a Flea  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:33:07pm

People pay lots of money for an Owl System (R) mattress. What's this guy complaining about?

6 jaunte  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:33:59pm

Owly to bed, owly to rise...

7 PhillyPretzel  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:34:26pm

re: #6 jaunte
LOL

8 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:34:27pm

What drug makes you hallucinate owls? Wifey collects owls, that drug would be a great stocking stuffer for her.

9 PhillyPretzel  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:36:52pm

I got to go. Good Night to my fellow Lizards and Happy Haunkkah.

10 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:39:27pm

re: #8 b_sharp

What drug makes you hallucinate owls?

"Stupidity" is the name of that drug, I think.

MOLECH!!! ILLUMINATI!!! BOHEMIAN GROVE!!!

11 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:40:19pm

re: #6 jaunte

Owly to bed, owly to rise...

So, you've a camera in my bedroom. Yer askin' for it bud.

12 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:41:16pm

I got that "comfterbale" is supposed to be "comfortable".
And I got that "past" is supposed to be "passed".
But I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out what that owl is, and how it got into the mattress in the first place.

13 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:43:06pm

re: #12 reine.de.tout

But I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out what that owl is, and how it got into the mattress in the first place.

The Illuminati it put there, duh. Wake up, Reine!
/

14 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:44:01pm

re: #10 Slumbering Behemoth

"Stupidity" is the name of that drug, I think.

MOLECH!!! ILLUMINATI!!! BOHEMIAN GROVE!!!

Pareidolia rules!

15 engineer cat  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:44:16pm

it shouldn't be surprising that the memory foam affected his mind. his mind expended and that left a big owl in it

16 Alexzander  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:44:35pm

This post made me question my sanity.

17 engineer cat  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:45:29pm

it's an owl, like in teh swits chiz, silly!

18 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:46:45pm

re: #16 Alexzander

This post made me question my sanity.

We've been questioning it for months.
Glad you could finally join us.

19 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:46:48pm

The guy is from Colombia. I looked at his other reviews. He's had mixed results from his sleep purchases:

Mediflow Waterbase Pillow
Price: $31.63

DONT BUY, DONT BUY, DONT BUY THIS PRODUCT, December 10, 2011
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Mediflow Waterbase Pillow (Kitchen)
I got this pillow after a long research, at first its seems great and my wife loved it so i bought a second one, after less then a month one of them start liking and a week after the other one as well, so i can be sure that it is not just bad production, ITS A BAD PRODUCT. I wish i could send it back but i live in Colombia and send it back will cost more then the product itself.

and

Premium Hypoallergenic 100% Waterproof Mattress Protector Full Size - Made In The USA
Offered by First Class Mattress


1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
WHAT A GREAT PRODUCT, December 11, 2011
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Luna Premium Hypoallergenic 100% Waterproof Mattress Protector Full Size - Made In The USA
This product do the job, it saved my mattress from the water which spred out of my Mediflow Waterbase Fiberfill Pillow.

I totally recomend you to buy this product

20 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:47:10pm

re: #6 jaunte

Owly to bed, owly to rise...

The owly bird gets the worm, but the owly worm gets the beak.

21 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:48:35pm

re: #17 engineer dog

it's an owl, like in teh swits chiz, silly!

Ah. So you understood the guy perfectly, eh?
yeah.
uh-huh.
OK everybody, let's slowly back out of the room

22 Interesting Times  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:48:47pm

re: #12 reine.de.tout

But I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out what that owl is, and how it got into the mattress in the first place.

I think he meant "hole". That's the only thing that could possibly make sense in context.*

*I speak jive spell-checker-deprived Internet English.

23 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:48:59pm

re: #12 reine.de.tout

I got that "comfterbale" is supposed to be "comfortable".
And I got that "past" is supposed to be "passed".
But I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out what that owl is, and how it got into the mattress in the first place.

Hollow? Only thing I can think of offhand.

24 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:48:59pm

re: #19 reine.de.tout

Not that I like to product pimp too often, but a while ago I got one of those sleep number beds, and I've never been happier.

25 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:49:14pm

re: #19 reine.de.tout

The guy is from Colombia. I looked at his other reviews. He's had mixed results from his sleep purchases:

and

I laughed so hard I just about choked on my spittle.

26 engineer cat  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:49:17pm

Premium Hypoallergenic 100% Waterproof Mattress Protector Full Size

primo hallucinogenic 100% waterboarding what are they talking about, now?

27 Alexzander  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:50:39pm

re: #18 b_sharp

We've been questioning it for months.
Glad you could finally join us.

So everyone is questioning my sanity.
Oawh ghwad.

28 engineer cat  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:51:17pm

This mattress is really great and comfterbale but mine has a owl in it. i thoght that in time the mattress will expend and this owl will go a way but now two month has past and it still there.

this mattress is really great and comfortable but mine has a hole in it. i thought that in time the mattress will expand and this hole will go away but now two months has passed and i am still ahead of mitt romney in the polls and a definer of civilization

29 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:51:48pm

re: #25 b_sharp

I laughed so hard I just about choked on my spittle.

You know - I'm not going to need the mattress protector, because I personally think it's lunacy to buy a water-filled pillow. The guy needs some common sense.

30 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:52:19pm

re: #24 Slumbering Behemoth

Not that I like to product pimp too often, but a while ago I got one of those sleep number beds, and I've never been happier.

I'll bet you have bed number 666.

31 Charles Johnson  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:52:19pm

The reactions to this review are pretty funny too: I LOVE AMAZON's review of Sleep Innovations 10-inch Sure Temp Memory...

Keith Blodgett says:

Your mattress hd an owl in it? An owl?

[...]

MommyMichelle says:

Ummm... an OWL?

did you mean a hole or a dent of some sort? Also it's spelled "comfortable". :)

[...]

Joshua M. Ricard says:

This review has made my day.

[...]

Carl E Graves says:

Got to watch out for those owls....

[...]

Keith Blodgett says:

I think I'd pay extra for an owl.

[...]

Elle P. says:

What side of the bed does the owl sleep on? Is it the side you usually take? Because I admit that can be somewhat of an adjustment.

[...]

Christina says:

What do you mean, "owl?"

[...]

W. Hudson says:

He didn't say it has an owl "on" it; He said it has an owl "in" it.

Man, that's got to stink!

I'm sure as the bird decays, the smell will go away.

[...]

P. ZABEL says:

Is it the hooting that keeps you awake?

32 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:52:19pm

re: #27 Alexzander

So everyone is questioning my sanity.
Oawh ghwad.

Never a question in my mind. From the get go, I've been certain that you're certifiable.
:P

33 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:52:37pm

re: #28 engineer dog

This mattress is really great and comfterbale but mine has a owl in it. i thoght that in time the mattress will expend and this owl will go a way but now two month has past and it still there.

this mattress is really great and comfortable but mine has a hole in it. i thought that in time the mattress will expand and this hole will go away but now two months has passed and i am still ahead of mitt romney in the polls and a definer of civilization

Oh, hell!
I'm laughing so hard the dogs think something's the matter with me.

34 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:52:39pm

Some of my parents' friends when I was child had water beds. (This was California in the seventies and early eighties, mind.

I always loved them.

35 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:54:22pm

re: #31 Charles

OMG.
Those aren't just pretty funny, they're side-splitting hilarious!
Or else I'm in a weird mood.

36 Killgore Trout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:54:27pm

Image: ngbbs4ae379ba4c8c9.jpg

37 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:55:12pm

re: #34 SanFranciscoZionist

Some of my parents' friends when I was child had water beds. (This was California in the seventies and early eighties, mind.

I always loved them.

Yeah, but SFZ - a water pillow?
I wouldn't wanna take the risk with my do; or the color in my hair, for that matter.

38 Alexzander  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:55:17pm

re: #32 Slumbering Behemoth

Never a question in my mind. From the get go, I've been certain that you're certifiable.
:P

That's probably why I get along so well with the mentally ill people I work with.

39 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:55:22pm

re: #34 SanFranciscoZionist

My first time? On a water bed.

As awkward and stumbly as it could sound, it was worse.

40 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:56:39pm

re: #39 Slumbering Behemoth

My first time? On a water bed.

As awkward and stumbly as it could sound, it was worse.

Aw, gee.
TMI!

41 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:57:14pm

re: #34 SanFranciscoZionist

Some of my parents' friends when I was child had water beds. (This was California in the seventies and early eighties, mind.

I always loved them.

Um, we had a water bed until about 7 years ago.

Crap, I feel old.

42 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:57:43pm

re: #34 SanFranciscoZionist

Some of my parents' friends when I was child had water beds. (This was California in the seventies and early eighties, mind.

I always loved them.

I got a leak in my water bed and discovered it by the trail of ants that were crawling on me and woke me at 2a.m. Emptying a water bed at 2a.m. is really not a lot of fun (sad face).

But I guess ants are better than an owl. I think. I'm pretty sure!

43 Interesting Times  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:58:25pm

re: #39 Slumbering Behemoth

My first time? On a water bed.

As awkward and stumbly as it could sound, it was worse.

Were holes and leaks involved?*

*In the bed. What did you dirty-minded people think I was talking about? :P

44 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:58:30pm

Here in Chicagoland the Snowy Owl, made famous by the Harry Potter, has shown up in great numbers this year, as it seems the population of lemmings up north has gone down.

Please feel free to reply with the lemming joke of your choice.

45 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:58:39pm

re: #37 reine.de.tout

Yeah, but SFZ - a water pillow?
I wouldn't wanna take the risk with my do; or the color in my hair, for that matter.

That doesn't even make sense, a water pillow. I mean, the dreams/nightmares that could be inspired by the subtle sloshing sounds.

And what if you've had too much to drink before hitting the pillow? Water pillow, pukey bed?

46 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:58:54pm

re: #42 marjoriemoon

I got a leak in my water bed and discovered it by the trail of ants that were crawling on me and woke me at 2a.m. Emptying a water bed at 2a.m. is really not a lot of fun (sad face).

But I guess ants are better than an owl. I think. I'm pretty sure!

You see - that right there tells ya a water pillow would be a really bad idea.

47 Alexzander  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:59:31pm

re: #39 Slumbering Behemoth

My first time? On a water bed.

As awkward and stumbly as it could sound, it was worse.

Is that where your LGF handle comes from?

48 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:59:39pm

re: #42 marjoriemoon

I got a leak in my water bed and discovered it by the trail of ants that were crawling on me and woke me at 2a.m. Emptying a water bed at 2a.m. is really not a lot of fun (sad face).

But I guess ants are better than an owl. I think. I'm pretty sure!

Why didn't you get the aunts to empty it?

49 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 6:59:50pm

re: #46 reine.de.tout

You see - that right there tells ya a water pillow would be a really bad idea.

They don't tell you these things at the water bed store.

Do they even sell water beds anymore?

50 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:00:03pm

re: #36 Killgore Trout

Image: ngbbs4ae379ba4c8c9.jpg

That's a good shot of a Snowy Owl right there.

51 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:00:34pm

re: #40 reine.de.tout

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL, COMING OF AGE, LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE!!! HOW DARE YOU MOCK MY PRECIOUS MEMOR-

okay, it was just awkward and stumbly.

52 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:01:16pm

re: #48 b_sharp

Why didn't you get the aunts to empty it?

I'm not posting from Columbia LOL

53 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:01:26pm

re: #45 Slumbering Behemoth

That doesn't even make sense, a water pillow. I mean, the dreams/nightmares that could be inspired by the subtle sloshing sounds.

And what if you've had too much to drink before hitting the pillow? Water pillow, pukey bed?

Spontaneous urination would be a potential problem.

54 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:01:34pm

re: #49 marjoriemoon

They don't tell you these things at the water bed store.

Do they even sell water beds anymore?

Wilson got one on an episode of House not too long ago.

55 goddamnedfrank  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:02:02pm

re: #22 publicityStunted

I think he meant "hole". That's the only thing that could possibly make sense in context.*

*I speak jive spell-checker-deprived Internet English.

I thought maybe he meant bowl and that his b key wasn't working, but comfterbale came out just fine.

56 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:03:14pm

re: #43 publicityStunted

Were holes and leaks involved?*

No. Just a lot of...

"Oops, sorry".
"Ouch"
"Oops, sorry".
"HEY! WRONG OWL"!

57 TedStriker  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:03:15pm

re: #49 marjoriemoon

They don't tell you these things at the water bed store.

Do they even sell water beds anymore?

They've gone mostly to the "waveless" type (with baffles in the bed to prevent water from sloshing from side to side).

58 The Ghost of a Flea  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:03:29pm

The owl is a load bearing structure. Without it, your whole bed would fall into the land of Narnia.

59 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:04:24pm

re: #54 SanFranciscoZionist

Wilson got one on an episode of House not too long ago.

There so many more (better) options now than water beds. They're a pain to care for, although I suspect if they're still making them, the technology has improved.

60 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:05:17pm

re: #56 Slumbering Behemoth

No. Just a lot of...

"Oops, sorry".
"Ouch"
"Oops, sorry".
"HEY! WRONG OWL"!

I didn't know there was a wrong owl.

61 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:05:40pm

re: #57 talon_262

They've gone mostly to the "waveless" type (with baffles in the bed to prevent water from sloshing from side to side).

Right... the waveless. That was probably the worst part of the water bed experience. Getting into bed and waking your partner.

62 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:06:05pm

A serious writer is not to be confounded with a solemn writer. A serious writer may be a hawk or a buzzard or even a popinjay, but a solemn writer is always a bloody owl.
~ Ernest Hemingway

63 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:06:29pm

re: #57 talon_262

They've gone mostly to the "waveless" type (with baffles in the bed to prevent water from sloshing from side to side).

I had 2 of them. That was enough. LOL Both leaked.

64 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:06:44pm

re: #61 marjoriemoon

Right... the waveless. That's was probably the worst part of the water bed experience. Getting into bed and waking your partner.

Waking your partner? How about launching your partner.

65 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:07:30pm

re: #58 The Ghost of a Flea

The owl is a load bearing structure. Without it, your whole bed would fall into the land of Narnia.

Charles should definitely buy it then!

66 Killgore Trout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:07:35pm

re: #50 Dark_Falcon

That's a good shot of a Snowy Owl right there.

I bought a device that makes injured bird noises to scare away the crows. It also attracts predator birds. Falcons by day and owls by night. Not sure what kind of owls but they're big and weird.

67 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:08:12pm

re: #63 marjoriemoon

I had 2 of them. That was enough. LOL Both leaked.

We went through several bags over the years.

68 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:08:35pm

re: #66 Killgore Trout

I bought a device that makes injured bird noises to scare away the crows. It also attracts predator birds. Falcons by day and owls by night. Not sure what kind of owls but they're big a weird.

They're "big a weird"?

WTF are you talking about?
This review got to you, I can see.

69 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:09:20pm

re: #68 reine.de.tout

They're "big a weird"?

WTF are you talking about?
This review got to you, I can see.

Nice catch.

70 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:10:01pm

re: #60 b_sharp

I didn't know there was a wrong owl.

Hey, you try convincing a girl, on a water bed no less, that this ain't your first time at the rodeo, when it so obviously is.

Wrong "owl" if I'm lucky.

71 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:10:28pm

re: #42 marjoriemoon

I got a leak in my water bed and discovered it by the trail of ants that were crawling on me and woke me at 2a.m. Emptying a water bed at 2a.m. is really not a lot of fun (sad face).

But I guess ants are better than an owl. I think. I'm pretty sure!

What was your water bed filled with, Koolaid?

72 Kronocide  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:11:07pm

re: #58 The Ghost of a Flea

The owl is a load bearing structure. Without it, your whole bed would fall into the land of Narnia.

Dove is soap. Without it your fingernails get dirt under them.

73 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:11:18pm

re: #69 b_sharp

Nice catch.

I have a very good friend who almost quit talking to me altogether because I couldn't let weird spelling and odd phrasing pass on by without saying something. I can't help it. I need to work on that.

74 Charles Johnson  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:11:28pm

It only takes one leaking water bed to sour you on the experience forever.

I speak from experience. And a lost security deposit.

75 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:11:40pm

Btw, speaking of memory-foam mattress, I have one and Love, Love, Love it. We got a deal on a king bed, but the mattress is extra firm, which I hate and my hubby loves. To solve the problem, I got a memory-foam topper and put it on my side. I thought I wouldn't like it because I thought it would be too soft, but it's really awesome.

76 Killgore Trout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:11:40pm

re: #68 reine.de.tout

They're "big a weird"?

WTF are you talking about?
This review got to you, I can see.

a=and
Preview stinks

77 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:11:55pm

re: #74 Charles

It only takes one leaking water bed to sour you on the experience forever.

I speak from experience. And a lost security deposit.

And as we see from the reviews, one leaky water pillow!

78 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:12:33pm

The Owl and the Pussycat poem

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."
Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

79 Alexzander  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:13:07pm

Never thought I'd find such an in-depth discussion of sleeping products on LGF.

80 NJDhockeyfan  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:13:19pm

re: #74 Charles

It only takes one leaking water bed to sour you on the experience forever.

I speak from experience. And a lost security deposit.

Waterbeds and cats do not mix. I know very well.

81 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:13:19pm

re: #66 Killgore Trout

Oh, that is freaking GENIUS!

82 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:13:40pm

re: #71 Alouette

What was your water bed filled with, Koolaid?

Was that wrong??

No actually, the water apparently attracted the ants. The leak went down the bed, onto the floor, towards the sliding glass door where they came in.

83 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:14:23pm

re: #82 marjoriemoon

Was that wrong??

No actually, the water apparently attracted the ants. The leak went down the bed, onto the floor, towards the sliding glass door where they came in.

I thought ants are attracted by sugar.

We had ants crawling on the kitchen wall. They were coming in through a crack in the window sill. I caulked up the crack by making a paste out of boric acid, and that stopped the ant invasion.

84 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:15:42pm

re: #73 reine.de.tout

I have a very good friend who almost quit talking to me altogether because I couldn't let weird spelling and odd phrasing pass on by without saying something. I can't help it. I need to work on that.

Need to work on that? Only if you mean "Hone that skill to a fine razor's edge to achieve maximum hilarity".

85 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:17:06pm

re: #84 Slumbering Behemoth

Need to work on that? Only if you mean "Hone that skill to a fine razor's edge to achieve maximum hilarity".

hehehe. That skill is already honed to a fine razor's edge.
It's what apparently caused the person such grief.

86 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:19:41pm

re: #73 reine.de.tout

I have a very good friend who almost quit talking to me altogether because I couldn't let weird spelling and odd phrasing pass on by without saying something. I can't help it. I need to work on that.

I don't know, you seem quite good at it already.

87 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:20:19pm

re: #83 Alouette

I thought ants are attracted by sugar.

We had ants crawling on the kitchen wall. They were coming in through a crack in the window sill. I caulked up the crack by making a paste out of boric acid, and that stopped the ant invasion.

I assumed it was the water. There was no food or drinks in the bedroom. I awoke to something stinging my neck and basically stuck my hand into them. It was weird and creepy and I think I lept across the room.

When I pulled up the mattress, it was all wet in the corner, covered by ants that trailed off across the floor. Luckily (not like Charles) it didn't mess up the whole floor. I was able to clean it up without any great damage to the floor.

They used to give you these water bed patch kits. They sucked too.

88 Interesting Times  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:22:33pm

re: #85 reine.de.tout

hehehe. That skill is already honed to a fine razor's edge.
It's what apparently caused the person such grief.

You couldn't have been any worse than this...

89 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:22:46pm

re: #87 marjoriemoon

I assumed it was the water. There was no food or drinks in the bedroom. I awoke to something stinging my neck and basically stuck my hand into them. It was weird and creepy and I think I lept across the room.

When I pulled up the mattress, it was all wet in the corner, covered by ants that trailed off across the floor. Luckily (not like Charles) it didn't mess up the whole floor. I was able to clean it up without any great damage to the floor.

They used to give you these water bed patch kits. They sucked too.

Did you and/or Charles not have a liner?

90 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:23:57pm

re: #89 b_sharp

Did you and/or Charles not have a liner?

I want to say yes. I don't remember. Don't you have to have a liner? Or it would snag on the wood? Maybe I didn't.

91 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:24:11pm

Fedex delivery FAIL:

Youtube Video
92 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:24:59pm

re: #88 publicityStunted

You couldn't have been any worse than this...

Oh, my!
Tears rolling down my face - THANK YOU.
I've got to bookmark these for future reference.

93 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:26:45pm

re: #90 marjoriemoon

I want to say yes. I don't remember. Don't you have to have a liner? Or it would snag on the wood? Maybe I didn't.

We always had one. We duct taped the angle braces so the screw heads wouldn't dig into the liner and tucked the liner under the edge pad so it was the same height as the full bag. We went through a few leaks but never got water on the floor.

94 b_sharp  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:29:12pm

B'bye folks, my bed is calling me.

95 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:29:40pm

re: #94 b_sharp

B'bye folks, my bed is calling me.

Watch for the owls.

96 jaunte  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:30:05pm

Kip a petch fur de owls, jost in kess.

97 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:30:50pm

re: #66 Killgore Trout

I bought a device that makes injured bird noises to scare away the crows. It also attracts predator birds. Falcons by day and owls by night. Not sure what kind of owls but they're big and weird.

When my parents lived in Central Oregon a neighbor had cats that lived on the roof of the house due to the coyotes in the area. A Great-Horned Owl moved into the area and started picking them off the roof at night.

98 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:33:38pm

My mundane owl story.

Winter time in the city, trees are bare, the sky is clear and a full moon is out.

I was maybe 15 or 16, and walking home all fucked up from a cocktail of illicit substances.

In a sketchy hood, I chose to walk along the railroad tracks because
a) I grew up playing all over 'em, and
b) I knew if I followed them I would end up one block from my home, rather than getting lost in a stupor

As I passed a barren tree, I turned to look at it and appreciate the scene. Just as I did, a large owl silently swooped in and landed on one of it's branches. Fucking ninjas of the night skies that they are.

For a brief moment I entertained the thought that such a thing might be a bad omen, just before realizing such thoughts are foolish.

Better that I concern myself with real dangers, like a group of thugs happening upon a lone stoner bombed out of his mind in a dark, secluded area, than omens, specters, and other superstitious imaginings.

99 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:41:50pm

re: #98 Slumbering Behemoth

My mundane owl story.

Winter time in the city, trees are bare, the sky is clear and a full moon is out.

I was maybe 15 or 16, and walking home all fucked up from a cocktail of illicit substances.

In a sketchy hood, I chose to walk along the railroad tracks because
a) I grew up playing all over 'em, and
b) I knew if I followed them I would end up one block from my home, rather than getting lost in a stupor

As I passed a barren tree, I turned to look at it and appreciate the scene. Just as I did, a large owl silently swooped in and landed on one of it's branches. Fucking ninjas of the night skies that they are.

For a brief moment I entertained the thought that such a thing might be a bad omen, just before realizing such thoughts are foolish.

Better that I concern myself with real dangers, like a group of thugs happening upon a lone stoner bombed out of his mind in a dark, secluded area, than omens, specters, and other superstitious imaginings.

hehe Well, the owl is definitely a bringer of ill tidings, as it were. Many native cultures believe they portend death.

100 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:43:41pm

re: #99 marjoriemoon

hehe Well, the owl is definitely a bringer of ill tidings, as it were. Many native cultures believe they portend death.

I should say that better. I don't believe they are messengers of death, but some folks do.

101 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:44:41pm

re: #99 marjoriemoon

Well, I made it home, safe and sound. And plenty high.

Owls may symbolize ill tidings and death portents, but for me they are just big, beautiful, winged predators.

And they look so cuddly.

102 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:44:47pm

re: #98 Slumbering Behemoth

I was driving home one night and an owl (who must have been all fucked up from illicit substances, 'cause I was just driving along) just about crashed into my windshield.

Scared me to death. I had no idea owls were so huge, and had such huge wingspans. It covered my entire windshield.

103 Lidane  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:44:59pm

I needed something to make me hoot with laughter, considering that one of my idiot Paulbot FB friends is posting YouTube videos of Lord Monckton.

Why are otherwise smart people so easily fooled by bad ideas and bad science?

104 reine.de.tout  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:45:33pm

re: #103 Lidane

I needed something to make me hoot with laughter, considering that one of my idiot Paulbot FB friends is posting YouTube videos of Lord Monckton.

Why are otherwise smart people so easily fooled by bad ideas and bad science?

Have you asked?

105 Political Atheist  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:47:18pm

re: #103 Lidane

Maybe we all come with our own blind spots?

106 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:47:58pm

re: #102 reine.de.tout

I had no idea owls were so huge, and had such huge wingspans.

It's a thing to behold, ain't it? But in your case I guess it sucked.

PBS documentaries just don't do them justice.

107 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:48:03pm

re: #97 oaktree

When my parents lived in Central Oregon a neighbor had cats that lived on the roof of the house due to the coyotes in the area. A Great-Horned Owl moved into the area and started picking them off the roof at night.

That actually freaks me out quite a bit around here. We have a lot of cats about. We don't have owls, but hawks and turkey vultures. I guess the vultures only eat dead things, but man, they are enormous, like 3 feet tall. The hawks are pretty large and I think could gobble up a kitty. *shivers*

108 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:54:13pm

re: #103 Lidane

Have you tried...

109 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:57:35pm

re: #103 Lidane

I needed something to make me hoot with laughter, considering that one of my idiot Paulbot FB friends is posting YouTube videos of Lord Monckton.

Why are otherwise smart people so easily fooled by bad ideas and bad science?

I try to stay away from the politics on The FB. Too many friends and family.

Except today, this LGBT Jewish group posted an anti-Obama post from some rightwing crazy person. Anti-Obama, anti-Reform Judaism, anti-liberal. yadda yadda. I got real pissy about that. This group did this before. When I posted my rebuttal, the guy said, "Oh that's not our opinion. We're just posting the article." Which was really bizarre.

I'm beginning to think good blogging is an art form.

110 Varek Raith  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 7:57:57pm

re: #102 reine.de.tout

I was driving home one night and an owl (who must have been all fucked up from illicit substances, 'cause I was just driving along) just about crashed into my windshield.

Scared me to death. I had no idea owls were so huge, and had such huge wingspans. It covered my entire windshield.

Considered the biggest owl.
[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]
60 inch wingspan.

111 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:02:46pm

re: #109 marjoriemoon

I try to stay away from the politics on The FB. Too many friends and family.

Except today, this LGBT Jewish group posted an anti-Obama post from some rightwing crazy person. Anti-Obama, anti-Reform Judaism, anti-liberal. yadda yadda. I got real pissy about that. This group did this before. When I posted my rebuttal, the guy said, "Oh that's not our opinion. We're just posting the article." Which was really bizarre.

I'm beginning to think good blogging is an art form.

This is the article this gay group posted which got my knickers in a twist. I guess there's Jewish gay Republicans out there, but the thought of that makes my head explode.

[Link: www.realclearpolitics.com...]

112 Kronocide  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:02:47pm

re: #103 Lidane

I needed something to make me hoot with laughter, considering that one of my idiot Paulbot FB friends is posting YouTube videos of Lord Monckton.

Why are otherwise smart people so easily fooled by bad ideas and bad science?

You could let me know their name and I could Friend them.... LOL

113 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:05:18pm

re: #111 marjoriemoon

This is the article this gay group posted which got my knickers in a twist. I guess there's Jewish gay Republicans out there, but the thought of that makes my head explode.

[Link: www.realclearpolitics.com...]

Election season beginneth. Always includes an attempt to pry a few Jewish votes off the Democrats.

114 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:05:54pm

Sorry I was gone so long, but I was trying to pull up this photo I saw in the Red Eyetoday.

Normally you look at photos of an albino animal in the wild and think "It's amazing it survived!", but this albino will have you thinking "I better make sure my garbage cans are sealed up tight!"

115 SanFranciscoZionist  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:07:34pm

re: #114 Dark_Falcon

Sorry I was gone so long, but I was trying to pull up this photo I saw in the Red Eyetoday.

Normally you look at photos of an albino animal in the wild and think "It's amazing it survived!", but this albino will have you thinking "I better make sure my garbage cans are sealed up tight!"

Rather pretty. Odd-looking, but pretty.

116 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:08:13pm

re: #107 marjoriemoon

That actually freaks me out quite a bit around here. We have a lot of cats about. We don't have owls, but hawks and turkey vultures. I guess the vultures only eat dead things, but man, they are enormous, like 3 feet tall. The hawks are pretty large and I think could gobble up a kitty. *shivers*

When I was out there I was running my parent's "trap line" to catch the mice and chipmunks that kept invading the garage. (There were also pack rats - but you needed larger traps for them.) I had found a dead mouse and dumped it on one of the ant hills in the yard for processing*. The next day I was walking the loop in the yard and heard this "whup whup whup" noise. Out of the tall grass about 20' ahead of me rose a raven. It had been working the ant hills to scavenge the rodent corpses I'd been leaving there. Now THAT was a monstrous bird.

* - Where my parents lived the area was volcanic rock, sand, rabbit brush, cheat grass, and scraggly juniper. The area got about 10" of precipitation a year and was essentially desert. The birdbath was very popular as a the local watering hole of the birds and also a beehive. And the yard also had 6-8 ant hills that were each a couple of feet across. Not real aggressive - mainly collected cheat grass seeds and got eaten by the ant lions that were in the sandy areas.

117 Varek Raith  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:09:29pm

Guess what my favorite bird is.
;)

118 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:10:32pm

re: #103 Lidane

I needed something to make me hoot with laughter, considering that one of my idiot Paulbot FB friends is posting YouTube videos of Lord Monckton.

Why are otherwise smart people so easily fooled by bad ideas and bad science?

He seems to know what he's talking about (though he really doesn't) and he's got an 'upper class, yet accessible' image that seems to resonate fairly well in Anglosphere nations. It helps a bit that, though he's not part of the House of Lords, he is fairly good in a debate. Not on the facts, but he's a master of the aggressive style of debating seen in the UK's Parliament , and Americans who are unused to it often do poorly in facing someone skilled in such tactics.

119 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:11:05pm

re: #117 Varek Raith

Guess what my favorite bird is.
;)

Endorian Ewok Owl?

120 Varek Raith  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:12:04pm

re: #119 oaktree

Endorian Ewok Owl?

Image: Common_raven_by_David_Hofmann.jpg

121 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:12:58pm

re: #115 SanFranciscoZionist

Rather pretty. Odd-looking, but pretty.

And though its a albino, it still has some pigment in its fur, resulting in the characteristic rings on the raccoon's tail. The photo also gives a better view of the shape of a raccoon's face than the "mask" on a normal raccoon would shown.

122 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:14:02pm

re: #120 Varek Raith

Image: Common_raven_by_David_Hofmann.jpg

Varek has trained his raven to say "Execute Order 66".

123 What, me worry?  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:14:27pm

re: #116 oaktree

When I was out there I was running my parent's "trap line" to catch the mice and chipmunks that kept invading the garage. (There were also pack rats - but you needed larger traps for them.) I had found a dead mouse and dumped it on one of the ant hills in the yard for processing*. The next day I was walking the loop in the yard and heard this "whup whup whup" noise. Out of the tall grass about 20' ahead of me rose a raven. It had been working the ant hills to scavenge the rodent corpses I'd been leaving there. Now THAT was a monstrous bird.

* - Where my parents lived the area was volcanic rock, sand, rabbit brush, cheat grass, and scraggly juniper. The area got about 10" of precipitation a year and was essentially desert. The birdbath was very popular as a the local watering hole of the birds and also a beehive. And the yard also had 6-8 ant hills that were each a couple of feet across. Not real aggressive - mainly collected cheat grass seeds and got eaten by the ant lions that were in the sandy areas.

Yikes! Do you work for Orkin?

We get a considerable number of hawks in the backyard. I live in Miami, but we have a good amount of wild life. The hawks are beautiful, but I wonder why they come by. Do they eat squirrels? We have a lot of squirrels.

124 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:16:06pm

Truth be told, I still miss those tracks. Playing "army" or "star wars" all over them in my youth, getting stoned there as a teen.

Outside of the rare camping trip, it was the closest we got to unchecked nature.

The odd thorn bushes and bamboo that randomly spread from someone's backyard. The choke of blackberry bushes that hugged the stream flowing from enormous storm drains. The natural and the industrial, slammed together at odd intervals.

And all along the "trail", any number of places we could break off and steal candy, or cigarettes that we would pretend to smoke.

125 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:18:10pm

re: #123 marjoriemoon

Yikes! Do you work for Orkin?

We get a considerable number of hawks in the backyard. I live in Miami, but we have a good amount of wild life. The hawks are beautiful, but I wonder why they come by. Do they eat squirrels? We have a lot of squirrels.

From watching Red-tailed hawks I'd say they'll go after a lot of stuff. I've personally seen them attacking or trying to attack the following:
Duck (which kept diving underwater to avoid them), chicken, squirrel, mouse, small dog*, starlings, pigeons, etc.

* - Watched a hawk fly from lamp post to lamp post following a woman walking a toy poodle. I think the hawk would have taken a shot at it if the woman had turned her back for more than a few seconds.

126 Interesting Times  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:22:03pm

re: #125 oaktree

I think the hawk would have taken a shot at it if the woman had turned her back for more than a few seconds.

Eagle Owl Attacking Camera at 1000fps:

Youtube Video
127 Prononymous, rogue demon hunter  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:30:08pm

re: #120 Varek Raith

Image: Common_raven_by_David_Hofmann.jpg

I like Corvids. Smart birds.

128 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:32:52pm

re: #125 oaktree

From watching Red-tailed hawks I'd say they'll go after a lot of stuff. I've personally seen them attacking or trying to attack the following:
Duck (which kept diving underwater to avoid them), chicken, squirrel, mouse, small dog*, starlings, pigeons, etc.

* - Watched a hawk fly from lamp post to lamp post following a woman walking a toy poodle. I think the hawk would have taken a shot at it if the woman had turned her back for more than a few seconds.

It would have, you're right. Red Tailed Hawks in Illinois have killed small dogs on a number of occasions.

129 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:37:13pm

re: #114 Dark_Falcon

My mundane raccoon story.

Incidentally also near the tracks.

Getting stoned yet again, on another clear night. parked at a dead end road right near the tracks.

Looking over at the rails we see a rather large raccoon emerge from a small storm drain. It was the size of a dog, and at first we thought to marvel at it. Or in stoner speak "Look at the size of that fucking thing"!

Then another just as large emerged. Then another. Slowly. Until at least six huge raccoons began a single file march along the tracks.

We stood stock still, and holding our breath for what seemed like forever, until they passed out of sight. Any outward observer could have easily mistaken us for statues.

Because you don't fuck with wild raccoons, and you certainly don't draw the attention of a troop of city raccoons.

130 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 8:54:57pm

re: #129 Slumbering Behemoth

My mundane raccoon story.

Incidentally also near the tracks.

Getting stoned yet again, on another clear night. parked at a dead end road right near the tracks.

Looking over at the rails we see a rather large raccoon emerge from a small storm drain. It was the size of a dog, and at first we thought to marvel at it. Or in stoner speak "Look at the size of that fucking thing"!

Then another just as large emerged. Then another. Slowly. Until at least six huge raccoons began a single file march along the tracks.

We stood stock still, and holding our breath for what seemed like forever, until they passed out of sight. Any outward observer could have easily mistaken us for statues.

Because you don't fuck with wild raccoons, and you certainly don't draw the attention of a troop of city raccoons.

Mine took place near railroad tracks too, but it involved a smaller, younger raccoon and did not end well for the 'coon. My cousin and I were walking his (large) dog, when the dog suddenly lunged into the bushes, pulled out a young raccoon, and started beating it against the pavement of the path we were walking on. By the time he pulled the dog back, the raccoon had been very badly hurt, but was still breathing. On the advice of a bystander, who knew the raccoon could not survive its wounds, my cousin let the dog finish it off. A sad tale of nature, red in tooth and claw.

131 Slumbering Behemoth Stinks  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 9:06:43pm

re: #130 Dark_Falcon

I'll relate another of my mundane raccoon stories.

Walking home from a metal club late one night, I see a small raccoon get hit by a car. It was clear from it's silhouette and the way it walked that it's spine had been snapped.

Being of a mind to give it a final mercy, yet with no idea how to do so possessing nothing more than bare hands and lightly shod feet, I approached it slowly. It crippled its way to a curb side storm drain, where it disappeared to die in misery.,

132 Lidane  Tue, Dec 20, 2011 11:22:32pm

re: #109 marjoriemoon

I try to stay away from the politics on The FB. Too many friends and family.

Same here. Unless it's something insane, like Newt saying he cheated because he loved America or whatever, I rarely get into politics on FB because I have too many relatives on there.

Oddly enough, the only folks on my FB friends list that are overtly political all the time are the right wing folks. Paulbots, Republicans, etc. I have one liberal friend who is always linking to articles, but she's the exception, not the rule.

133 steve_davis  Wed, Dec 21, 2011 6:12:21am

Owly Taitz?

134 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Wed, Dec 21, 2011 8:32:15am

get the sleep number bed. I've had one for nearly a year now and I love it.

135 lawhawk  Wed, Dec 21, 2011 9:38:26am

Hmmm... was a used mattress, from a Hogwarts clearance sale? If so, your best bet would be to send a howler to the original owner. /


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