First!!!

BTW, what do you mean red binder?

My Cup Runneth Over.

could be

That is stretching it, Charles. I don't see the binder.

While is Arafat still breathing?
Where is the Hellfire missile with his name on it?
Faster. Sooner.

Nothing about the man changes. He still wears that glorified table cloth on his head. He has been wearing that same awful uniform with the condom shaped medal for as long as I can remember. He either never changes his clothing (likely) or has an entire closet full of the things(farfetched)

Man I wish he would spend some of his billion dollars on a nail and hang up that damn mirror!

The answer to the question of what's on Arafat's desk in one word:

Payoffs!

Don't know about the binder but is that an i-pod on top of the stack of papers?

It's always such a mess in there.

In this picture released by the Palestinian Authority ...

You'd think he'd make an effort to tidy up before letting the photographers in. Stinky, ugly, filthy bastard. I look so forward to the day that he's found floating belly up.

You're seeing things, buddy.

Morlocks ? We have photos of the Morlocks ?
I didn't know.

#9 I thought it was a remote for his satellite radio system, 99 channels of jihad. But if it's an Ipod, and he's been illegally downloading music, he is screwed. The IDF are kids compared to the RIAA's lawyers.

You wouldn't think of the Palis as being so paper-reliant, would you? I wonder what all that crap is.

That looks a bit like the Drinking Bird to the right of the foreground pile...

thats not an ipod, its a remote for an AC/heating unit. I've seen similar ones in europe

Wait a minute; foreground, in front of the tissue box. Is that a crystal owl?

Please, somebody, blow up da owl!

Did anyone notice that he also has a symbol of the evil Crusader opressors (the cross) on his desk? Whats up with that?!

Looks like the Greeks don't like American Banks now.

Greek police used controlled explosion late Sunday to destroy the small time bomb, which was hidden in a backpack and placed outside a Citibank branch in the northeastern Athens suburb of Halandri. There were no injuries or damage.

The Greek group calling itself Revolutionary Struggle claimed responsibility in a telephone call to the Athens newspaper Elftherotypia. Police said the bomb was made out of two sticks of dynamite, a detonator and a timing device. .

Fox news source

It's a stack of rejections by professional body-cleaning agencies.

Difficult to see,but it seems a christian cross and a box of Marlboro cigarettes

That is stretching it, Charles. I don't see the binder.

You must be feebleminded and unfit for your post, then. Why, I can see it as plain as day -- such craftsmanship, such exquisite redness!

And he seems to have switched from Babywipes to Kleenex.

what happened to the dome of the rock snowglobe? out of season?

I'm still seething from yesterday's bombing.

To me, that picture represents nothing more than a target rich environment.

Just off these murderous bastards.

Qoreia has proven to be weaker than Abbas, and as such, less than worthless.

#6 seth the zionist occupational governor

I think he does have a large closet full of identical clothing. It makes him look like a soldier (dictators always wear uniforms).

#9 Hasidic Gentile

It looks like a calculator that he needs to add up all the funds it gives away to corrupt PA officials.

#10 zulubaby

Having a desk covered with papers is an attempt to make himself look busy and important (first thing MBA graduates learn). he is to be perceived as the center of all things for the PA and he is constantly reviewing reports and making those tough decissions.

Geepers (#8)

Man I wish he would spend some of his billion dollars on a nail and hang up that damn mirror!

You're suggesting Arafat do a little work?

(#19) Kelly

Most Greeks don't like America, period.

I love visiting Greece. The history and scenery is absolutely amazing. But the conversation, well, it's not nearly in the same league.

Yo Arafish. You need to splurge and get yourself a Trapper Keeper.

It's a stack of rejections by professional body-cleaning agencies.

One fancies that the Arafish would employ the services of a cleaner wrasse to remove debris, dead tissue, and parasitic organisms from his scales and mouth.

(Obviously, an inch-long fish can only do so much...)

OT

Seems like Kerry was ready for war in Iraq, even without the support of the UN, already in 1997.

Is this the joke thread? Please, oh please, oh please!!! I've had about all the bad news I can stand today.

Caption: "Ahmed, I told you that little 10 year-old wouldn't work. You owe me 10,000 shekels"

Qureia looks so miserable!

I reckon Arafat's hand is so far up his arse it hurts hence the long face while sitting!

remote for an AC/heating unit. I've seen similar ones in europe

Geez, and they say Americans are lazy?

Anyone want to guess how long the diagonal component of gravity will overcome the coefficient of friction, for the pile just below the mirror?

And we still don't know if anyone's wearing anything below table-level.

#14 rastajenk

All those papers contain his grand plans to kill the Joos

1. You don't have to be crazy to work at the PA but... aw screw it, you have to be screaming-ape-shit-nuts.

2. As his dementia worsened, Arafat took to wearing curtains on his head and muttering "Fiddle-dee-dee!" and "Rhett, what is to become of us?"

3. Arafat is disappointed as, for the fourth straight year, none of his staff participate in "Bring Your Young Boys To Work Day."

4. Deep in the pile, Osama's birthday card.

5. "Red folder? Contract? Mephistopheles? I don't know what you are MY DARK MASTER WILL GNAW YOUR BONES talking about."

6. The pile in front is from the accounts in Switzerland, the pile on the right os the subsidy reports from the EU, and the stack in back is the receipt for nipple clamps from Adam and Eve.

7. Every last one reads "All work and no play make Yasser a dull boy."

8. Mr Arafat's STD reports come back from the Mayo clinic.

9. Bob Graham has nothing on Arafat... who has dutifully logged every bowel movement since 1968,

10. Hoping to win more favor with the BBC, Arafat now routinely slaps an old bald man on the head during press conferences.

Call me a cooky infidel, but is that not a CROSS in front of the kleenex box? WTF?

His desk is in shambles, like the Palestinian economy, because of the Occupation. Is it wrong in Palestine? It's the Occupation. Cancer? The Occupation.

Duh. You need to read some real mainstream news that include Reuters or AP reports/photos to understand what's going on over there.

/Nutjob-LLL-terror apologist

#37 LOL!

#35 Frank IBC

Anyone want to guess how long the diagonal component of gravity will overcome the coefficient of friction, for the pile just below the mirror?

LOL

#16 seth the zionist occupational governor 3/15/2004 09:25AM PST

"thats not an ipod, its a remote for an AC/heating unit. I've seen similar ones in europe"

Are you sure? It looks like a TV remote. And look at the dull, lifeless stares on those two goats. I'm trying to imagine what show could possibly provoke such a level of inanimation. It could be a unful tool to combat terror. Sort of like shining a light in their eyes before hitting them over the head with a baseball bat.

V the K

Thanks. Really needed that today.

well, probably could have done without the whole Arafish nipple clamp picture in my mind. But, whataya gonna do

OT: Iraqi Kurds are threatening to enter Syria and provide military assistance to the Kurds in Syria. No link yet... developing.

ssslapslapslapslassslsapSLAP

SLAP

CRASH!!!

tinkletinkletinkle

(Gravity finally overcomes the coefficient of friction for the pile in the rear)

And seven years' bad luck for The Fish.

Anyone want to guess how long the diagonal component of gravity will overcome the coefficient of friction, for the pile just below the mirror?

Engineering talk gets me so hot.

Sad thing is, I'm not joking.

#42
yes I'm, sure. If you notice that the remote is cheesy looking. but it has a built in lcd. the lcd is only there for the temperature. BTW it really isnt that lazy. These units are normally cieling mounted, and if you arent tall , you cant reach the built in controls.

#43 RWC -

See, you rightwingers? The Smirking Chimp has stirred up a Hornet's Nest.

/al-Qubuh

OT: More... US team arrives in Syria to calms tensions in north

According to the sources, two U.S. helicopters arrived Sunday from Iraq to the city of Qamishli on the Turkish border, where the riots began.

The sources believe that the American delegation has warned the Syrian government that if the riots continue, the situation could get out of control and the Syrians will find it difficult to restrain the Kurdish militias in northern Iraq, who want to come to the aid of the Kurds in Syria.

Interesting.

probably could have done without the whole Arafish nipple clamp picture in my mind.

I would have pegged #9 as the "don't read before lunch" caption.

#46 V the K -

Er, is it words like "diagonal" and "friction"?

Some of our parts expand when they are hot...no?

-Dr. Anthony Antoniswami, 12th grade Physics teacher, discussing the concept of thermal coefficient of expansion

#49 Mr Pol

Excellent. Leverage.

It is indeed a CROSS which he uses to ward off the angel of death, he so rightly desrves to come take him to hell.

In fact he wears the false rubber red nose just to the right of the cross to try to disguise his own ugly schnozzle - but it wont help when the time comes for him to depart this world.

No sight of his Swiss passport which I identified in a similar picture last year nor the Swiss bank account-book.

However I do see the income tax reminder tucked into the picture frame - he won t be replying to that missive either.

Finally , note the red tobacco jar by his elbow in which he keeps his soul (locked away from the light)

probably could have done without the whole Arafish nipple clamp picture in my mind.

Good thing The Fish isn't a member of Opus Dei.

(And no, you ignoranamuses, that's NOT a cartoon penguin singing "Que Sera, Sera". ;) )

What an evil monster this man.

For the palestinians, he has lead them to utter ruin.

For the Jews, a predatory killer.

For the world, a moral abomination.

I swear Arafat's hiding aliens, and this is a bigger problem than we all thought it to be. Just look to the right of the Kleenex and next to the water bottle. Peeking out looks like one of those alien heads.

Maybe he's channeling?

/sarcasm

He might be trying to channel, but he ain't receiving.

Too much damn static cling.

SoCaJustice- forget Greece. The Greek temples in Sicily are more intact and better preserved - AND you're in Italy, not West Lebanon.

On the bright side, I think I can see a filled-in bullet hole in the wall between Queria and Arafat. May there be many more.

Looks like my old desk. Unfortunately I didnt have his paycheck. *sigh*

I think he needs a nice, motivational poster. Something like "Hang in There!" or "Peace: You want it WHEN?!?"

This can't be the real fish. It looks likes a wax replica.

#45 Frank IBC

of friction for the pile in the rear

Is this a new game? I thought it was the 'lion' that gets the rear and not the 'pile.'

Way OT but important read!

[Link: www.whotendsthefires.us...]

RWC -

EEEWWW!!!

Uh, I was talking about "to the rear of Yassir", not "Yassir's rear".

I'm just recovering from V the K's image in a previous thread of adorable kids in a 1980s detergent commercial "Shouting out" "skid marks". I think I'll put off lunch for another 15 minutes...

yoohooo...PDM. How about making us all smile with a terrific photoshop of this retched excuse of a picture, ha? Please ; -))

16 seth the zionist occupational governor

thats not an ipod,

Right you are! You win the prize, almost.

its a remote for an AC/heating unit. I've seen similar ones in europe

Well, that is what we who are familiar with such things are led to believe of this simple gadget. However I was told (by inside sources) that it is the remote for a sewage ion reactor which with a simple click of a button reverses the odious stench of that office to the pleasant smell of just picked flowers from poor starving palestinian children age 10 or 15 .
(trying to keep a straight face)

Now of course there are other more ominous buttons on this remote but I have been held to secrecy. Sorry.
Perhaps Charles should make a poll as to what the buttons on arafat's remote might actually do. We alll need something to laugh about, right? And guessing games are good for ones mental yoohooo...PDM. How about making us all smile with a terrific photoshop of this retched excuse of a picture, ha? Please ; -))

16 seth the zionist occupational governor

thats not an ipod,

Right you are! You win the prize, almost.

its a remote for an AC/heating unit. I've seen similar ones in europe

Well, that is what we who are familiar with such things are led to believe of this simple gadget. However I was told (by inside sources) that it is the remote for a sewage ion reactor which with a simple click of a button reverses the odious stench of that office to the pleasant smell of just picked flowers from poor starving palestinian children age 10 or 15 .

Now of course there are other more ominous buttons on this remote but I have been held to secrecy. Sorry.
Perhaps Charles should make a poll as to what the buttons on arafat's remote might actually do. (or we can start right now!) Anyway, this is far more interesting than that damn red folder which contains nothing more then arafat's schedule for his twice daily Colon blow.

Yes, it looks like a cross,
Yes,it looks like an owl,
Yes, it looks that an alien owl,
Yes, it is the messiest office seen in public for years,
It looks to me like a schitzophrenic has been staying there.
I've seen the houses of elderly alzheimer patients, looks a lot like that, too. Weirder and Weirder. Surely, somewhere in that picture, the keeper of Arafat is standing.

The remote control is for Yossi Beilin's brain.

#66 Frank IBC

LOL!

Having checked #64 three times before posting I have no idea how that happened. My sincere apologies.

11. All work in Arafat's office comes to a screeching halt when "Days of Our Lives" comes on.

12. All day long, Arafat would sit by the copier saying things like... "Abu... the Abunator... Abunamara... makin' bombs .. all right..."

13. "Idiot! Who needs Kleenex! I have a kaffiyeh!"

14. Look closely at the top of his kaffiyeh... Arafat is Dilbert's boss!

15. Some days, the only thing that kept Arafat going was reruns of Seventh Heaven and Aaron Carter's fine, fine ass.

#64 selpaw,

I don't know what that thing on the stack of papers is, but I do know what Yasser keeps in the red binder.

all-right... color me the guy who doesn't get all the inside jokes even though I've visited here enough...

I THINK I get Arafish. I get the Where's the BabyWipes... but what is the deal with the red binder...

(something like an explanation of Best of The Web's "Not to Brite" segments, or Sully's Derbyshire/Sontag awards may be in order :-P )

You know what this looks like? Look at their faces.

It's that spilt second after somebody breaks "the black wind," and everybody stops thinking about anything other than " Ok, how bad is this going to be?"

Near as I can tell... the origin of the red binder is in this thread:

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com...]

Pack of Camels. What else would a Sand Nazi smoke?

Isn't it about time that Israel threatened Arafat's life again. When they did it last summer, they got almost a month's worth of no bombings. Of course, the UN had to pay a lot of overtime to it's staffers for putting out all the anti-Israeli resolutions. But they did get some peace and quiet.

They should threated his life every 3 months. Or at least do it a couple of weeks before each major Jewish holiday.

V the K

You're on a roll. Don't stop.

70 PDM
Thank you! You are pure sunshine with a 'twist.'

73 V the K

Near as I can tell... the origin of the red binder is in this thread:

No no. It looks like some parcel (most likely bomb components) wrapped in sleazy islamic wrapping paper.

66 Frank IBC

The remote control is for Yossi Beilin's brain.

Very good...but all the buttons?

"What's this estimate from Aftermath, Inc. for? What death scene are they cleaning up? Nobody's died around here! And how come the quote's good for the next six months? Well, somebody's got to know what this is for!"

The Chairman has little time or patience for lengthy phone calls outlining the latest suicide-bombing plot, or weapons smuggling plan. "JUST FAX IT TO ME!", he is often heard to shout, before slamming down the phone.

V the K:

Excellent work today!

Brought a smile to this worried citizen.

PDM
A friend just sent me an email link of her actual dog, talking. You can upload your own pictures then you add the words. Looks like something you might like.
I'll check back.

Caption:

Their stares froze as they struggled not to aknowledge the horrible stench wafting up from the Chairman's end of the table. . .

or

Abu Qureia thought he was being helpful when he recommended his gastroenterologist, but all he got for his trouble was stone cold silence. . .

Red Binders, Owls, Towelettes, tissues, black wind, baby wipes, dry'd jello ...

My G_D people get ahold of yourselves... and tell me what the hell that evil, ugly nasty thing with the towel on it's head is... shouldn't somebody kill that thing and put use all at peace...

My G_D that's just wrong... in so many fricking ways is that wrong...

Mike7411

"Who cleaned up my desk? Damn it, I knew where everything was before, now I can't find a thing! Do me a favor, and don't do me any favors."

"Hey, how come all my mail is addressed to "Occupant" these days?"

"So Abu...you think it's the tenth planet, or just a big rock?"

What civilized people say to Arafat: "You must learn to coexist peacefully with the Israelis. The only hope for your people's economic and political security is to renounce terrorism and stop attacking the Israeli people..."

What Arafat hears: "Blah blah blah joos. Blah blah blah joos. Blah blah blah Aaron Carter. Blah blah blah joos..."

16. "Would you like some tea Polly Prissypants... (Different voice) ... 'Why thank you, Yasser, you are handsome and coo''... Why thank you Polly Prissypants, what do you think, Clyde Frog? ... (different voice) 'I think you're a fat pile of crap.'..."

17. Arafat kept the bottle of Johnson's Baby Oil on his desk as a souvenir of his night of passion with Saddam and a big kinky red guy with horns...

18. "Anyone know how to get a shirk stain out of a kaffiyeh... or what a shirk stain is for that matter?"

19. "Next item on the agenda... the Kerry endorsement."

20. "... and the Palestinian Authority will detonate... I mean implement ... the peace plan within forty years... months... days... dead joos... whatever..."

"Penguins is practically chickens."

What happened to the Baby Wipes and is that a bottle of Dannon water?

#18 Thousand Sons

Did anyone notice that he also has a symbol of the evil Crusader opressors (the cross) on his desk? Whats up with that?!

Arafat likes to portray himself as the protector of Christianity in the Holy Land. That is a laughable proposition since the Christians of the West Bank are persecuted and leaving and the Church of the Nativity was polluted by the Palis in April 2002.

V the K 87

ROTFLMAO!

If herman was alive today . . .

{prissy voice off-camera}

"If your apartment smells so bad that you have to "Plug-It-In," that's a bad situation."

"If you find yourself with your art budget on empty, take some interesting paper, a simple frame and...it's art!"

"When you're putting a lot of small pieces on shelves and they're against a white background, it feels very stark and naked. By painting a color in the back, behind the items, it unifies everything."

"Bad lighting, an American epidemic. Here's the solution: a simple porcelain Edison socket and a silver-tipped light bulb."

"Paint, the perfect way to give a room personality. Happy (orange), serene (blue), or even sexy (red). Just brush it on. If you want to add a hint sexiness to your abode, try adding a bit of red. It's a passionate color, very sexy."

"Paint your walls with an interesting pattern if you don't have any pieces of art. An alternative is to get something like a bulletin board that acts like a living piece of artwork you can manipulate. This way, you can add and change things as time goes by."

21. Arafat insisted his second PhD was in the pile somewhere.

22. "Yes... I need my glasses to see, but no way am I setting myself up for another 'Old Navy' caption."

23. "What do you call a Spaniard with a kaffiyeh? You call him 'my biyatch,' that's what you call him."

24. "Hey Arafat, why don't you stare off into space like a braindead moron? Oh, you already thought of that."

25. Once again, no one was up for naked Twister.

26. "This remote does not control the micro-explosive in Chirac's skull. I keep that one in my bedroom."

27. Arafat's "Have him shaved and brought to my tent," quip lost its humorous punch less than half an hour into the VH-1 boyband marathon.

28. Suddenly, it struck Qureia. "This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife." And he asked himself, "Well, How did I get here?"

29. "I am wearing a push up bra!"

30. Knowing that Arafat found Shrek incredibly hot was decidedly TMI.

V the K, are you trying to kill me? ROFLMAO!

V the K:

You doin' good today...

Seriously, why are these two men alive on March 15, 2004?

"I didn't get a HARUMPH out of you!"

"HARUMPH!"

"You watch your ass!"

Rayra (#93)

Really wondering why Israel / IDF doesn't KILL HIM.

Israel is on strict orders not to harm Arafat. Rantisi and Yassin are fair game though.

Thanks evariste... and this started out being a really hard picture to caption.

#81 selpaw,

Thank you for that link. With my archive of Arafat images and some of V the K's captions, the possibilities are endless!

Well, I don't REALLY see the red binder, though I'm sure it's there (the one with the numbers of all his Swiss bank accounts you mean?), but the whole paper mess is beginning to remind me of a book I once read called "My Brother's Keeper" in which two elderly brothers live in an old house in Brooklyn and the surviving brother ends up dead under a mountain of newspapers he'd been precariously stacking for years.

That pile on the credenza is almost at critical mass and if there should be a sudden vibration (say from a passing Israeli tank or an overhead helicopter) it might just slide off, rumble across the room killing thousands and leaving massive destruction and property damage in its wake. I wouldn't go in there to houseclean if he gave me Suha's monthly allowance. No wonder she lives in Paris.

That is definitely an AC remote control. The poor guy doesn't even have central heating.

#99 zulubaby

Israel is on strict orders not to harm Arafat. Rantisi and Yassin are fair game though.

So, can they just hurt him really, really bad? Like to the point of not being able to live without external life support systems...(then someone could have fun playing with the circuit breakers controlling them; flick off, wait a few minutes, on again, wait five, off-on-off-on-off-on, offonoffonoffonoffon (let wrist wrest a bit) offonoffonoffonoffon...)

31. They are reading the headline "Rosie O'Donnel Weds Long-Term Girlfriend, Slams Bush"...it's taking a while to register in their non-native-English brains...a brief delay...then hysterical laughter...

V the K -

Re: Caption 23 - Now that you mention it, the defeatist Socialist anti-Semite moonbat in that picture WAS kinda cute.

What do you mean, "wrong hole"?

(Punchline of that Japanese joke that starts in a whorehouse and ends up in a golf course)

Clutch (#104)

LOL! I like the way you think.

V the K

You have made today sooo much better than yesturday. LMAO!

ummm make that yesterday

#25 SoCalJustice

I'm still seething from yesterday's bombing.

To me, that picture represents nothing more than a target rich environment.

Just off these murderous bastards.

Qoreia has proven to be weaker than Abbas, and as such, less than worthless.

Amen. Can't really add anything to that. Just - Amen.

/s/

Lysander

Ms. Andi you sure misspell a lot lately! Did you curl up after your bath with a nice cuppa and a book like you said you would? If you didn't maybe that's the problem :-)

I don't see the red binder. Maybe just the very corner, but I don't see it. I thought the red binder was the Arafat stack of paperwork barometer. Where the red binder was in relation to the top of the stack indicated how much work Arafat had done/had left to do.

The device on top of the paperwork looked to me like a solar calculator until I read the comments that it is a climate controlled remote. That's pretty advanced. I've never seen one in the US. Why does Arafat have better HVAC technology than the US? Also, I was persuaded the mystery device is not a calculator by looking at the small table to the rear and left of Arafat, the one underneath the teetering stack of paperwork with the black binder on top. I believe I see an adding machine there, next to the red-topped object that someone said is a tobacco canister.

I have no idea what keeps that stack of papers in the back from sliding down. Maybe the mirror IS solidly mounted to the wall, and it is prying the back of the paper stack down, pinning them all together.

Whoever observed that the crystal thing next to the cross and the box of kleenex is a crystal owl has a keen eye. I had no idea until I read that.

Wonder what that orange thing is in the bottom right corner. Like it's got orange and brown stripes. Almost looks like several bendy straws in a glass vase or something. Anyone know?

What's the small yellow thing on the table next to the possible box of Marlboros?

Anyone else see anything interesting/curious in the photo?

Has anyone ever seen a person's reflection in the mirror?

#112 Split Lip:

You inspired this caption:

"Why don't I hang up that mirror? Because it doesn't work! I never see my reflection in it! If it hadn't been a gift from a certain US Senator that I can't name I'd throw the dang thing out!"

#111 evariste

LOL! I don't know what my problem is. Yes, I did curl up. That should help a little.

31. No one could bring themselves to tell Arafat that they were watching the Soap Opera Channel on satellite, not CNN, and there would be no suicide bombing of Luke and Laura's wedding.

32. The glazed over look betraying a complete shutdown of neural activity... damn it, someone must be playing an Enya CD.

33. Arafat was puzzled. A moment ago, Arafat has called promising to end the Zionist occupation of all Islamic lands. Now, he was just screaming "Baba Booey! Baba Booey!" over and over again.

Hey, is someone suggesting an all pics and caps blog? Where do I sign up?

V the K,

32. The glazed over look betraying a complete shutdown of neural activity... damn it, someone must be playing an Enya CD.

LOL!

This is a pile of applications for spots on American reality TV: Bachelor (what Suha doesn't know won't hurt her) and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Face it, he could use the back waxing, and Carson Kressley could do wonders for his wardrobe -- 'lose the Palestinian state-shaped headgear. It's sooo 70s guerilla terrorist.' Unfortunately, he was rejected as he didn't meet the show criteria found in the title.

33. Arafat was puzzled. A moment ago, Arafat Sharon had called promising to end the Zionist occupation of all Islamic lands. Now, he was just screaming "Baba Booey! Baba Booey!" over and over again.

1. Arafat pulled the black and white kaffiyeh over his head. "Moo Moo I'm a mad cow."

2. The New FOX reality show. A slob of a Palestinian dictator has to get along with his neat freak prime minister in "The Real Odd Couple."

3. When Qureaia boots his computer, he sees a screen that says "Hello... Qureia... you're ... quite good ... at ... turning ... me ...on."

4. "heh heh, heh, heh ... Beavis, he said you're my puppet. That means my hands up your butt."

#119 C J - Your dad needs to teach you some LGF etiquette. When you post something like #2, it's bad manners not to give your fellow readers a drink alert. Now I have to clean off the soda that I sprayed all over my computer.

V the K, is #119 really your son? If so, he's certainly a chip off the old block.

C J, LOL! Top notch, young man. Now, where's Rugby's contri?

CJ and V the K should start their own father and son caption business.

"You know, I have the script for "The Passion of the Christ" on this desk, and would have green-lighted it if I could have found it. Now Mel Gibson is richer than I am!"

"YOU WILL RESPECT MY (Palestinian) AUTHORITAY!"

Thanks, you all. For #119, the basic ideas were CJ's. I just helped with delivery and execution.

Cheers, I needed this thread!

34. Man, and you thought the last Quizno's commercial had some ugly guys in it.

35. "Qureia, does my manifest homoeroticism bother you?"

36. "Qureia, if I died tomorrow, would you come to my car swarm?"

37. On the Palestinian version of "The Apprentice," winners become suicide bombers, losers become Arafat's personal hygiene assistants.

38. "Wow, Yassin was right. These wahhabist sermons synch up perfectly with Dark Side of the Moon."

39. Blank stare, drooling incomprehension, apparently Arafat doesn't get these captions either.

40. "Ahmed, do you ever pretend your kaffiyeh is long blond hair and you're a pretty, pretty girl?"

41. "Look at that anger! Look at that passion! Complete detachment from reality! I tell you, Qureia, if Howard Dean were Palestinian, you would be so fired."

Arafat is not a traditional [bigoted word], rather than use his left hand to wipe his ass, he uses recycled stationery and keeps it within arm reach of his portapotty.

Ah...I finally remember why this looks so familiar -

It's like the Bored Meetingvideo from a few years back.

Maybe they'll start throwing paper airplanes...calling each other on cellphones...turning the lights off and dressing up in costumes in the meantime...

Aha...I found it!

Bored Meeting

42. "Uh...yeah... Qureia... yeah... um, we're gonna need you to come in on Saturday, yeah.. that'd be great ... "

43. "I'll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, it doesn't get any better than when he sings 'When a Man Loves a Woman.' "

44. "Oh, and next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day... so, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. "

45. "I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Abu that if Ashan is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven."

(Thanks Frank IBC, for making me think of 'Office Space.')

#133 V the K:

I was looking for a red stapler on Arafutz's desk.

"I'll burn the building down."

#126 V the K's pathetic little sourpuss stalker - I'd say that you've been outvoted. Shut the fuck up already.

#135 David Simon. If Charles asked me to stop, I'd stop. If zulubaby, SoCalJustice, Occasional Reader or anyone else whose opinion I respected said I wasn't funny, I'd lay off (or try harder). But being targeted by a humorless troll ... who seems to have sprung up just for the purpose or bitching about me ... is a badge of honor. When the trolls try to shout you down, it means you're getting under their skin.

That said, thanks for saying what you said.

You know you've made it when you have your own pet troll.

Mine was "Paris Hitlon" [sic] from a few months back...oh, how I miss her... ;)

I just had to reread this topic for V t K's captions, and they certainly brightened up my day!

Thanks and keep up the great work!

V the K, was your troll here again? Obsessed, isn't it?

Oh, and I think you're hilarious :-)

Frank IBC, the bored meeting thing is completely hysterical! I've never seen that.

My only regret is that captions 35, 38, and 39 have lost their context. Ah, well... this thread is passing it's Sell By date... and there's sure to be a car swarm or a pink tank protest any time now.

46. Arafat and Qureia do their "King Fahd" impressions.

Frank, you know what's almost weirder than having your own personal troll, being quoted on other blogs.

[Link: www.amritas.com...]

[Link: entre_nous.typepad.com...]

[Link: 38.144.96.23...]

It is kind of gratifying that people find my "serious" remarks worth quoting, too.

Wow, talk about "Ask, and ye shall receive"... Thanks for the day brighteners!

1. to many papers if only i could stop watching fraiser