No way I'm #1 today!

Amazing.

It's pretty hard to come to a decision over who was the most stupid: the guy wearing a bomb belt visibly, or the idiots who thought it'd be a good idea to rob a suicidal walking explosive.

Raisins! Old moldy raisins.

Thank you to the two "robbers".

Three Darwin Award winners right there...

No mention in this story of the question I’m sure is on everyone’s mind: does he still get the virgins?

I suppose we should go and see if Allah has decided on that yet...

No humans were injured in the execution of this piece of street irony.

Da_Wiz Sends

this story should be linked right next to the word darwinism in the dictionary . . .

or maybe next to instant karma.

Unlike others...I won't complain that I didn't get a hat tip. I don't like it when people whine about not getting a hat tip. I have a little more class and self respect to go on and on about not getting a hat tip. Let this example of self-control be a lesson for all the others who whine about not getting a hat tip.

:-P

Didn't I tell you Abdul, it's MY TURN to kill Jews and idfidels! Give me that...BLAM!

Who says Palestinians have no sense of humor?

No virgins for you! Maybe a couple of old hookers for getting suited up, but no Jews, no virgins!

...I'm gonna go ahead and bet that you see a decline in this sort of behavior. Just a hunch.

The bomber had no choice but to blow himself up. Imagine going back to the Arafish and Hamas and trying to explain that you had your tools stolen on your way to work. Oh the shame!

Anyway LOL. You just can't make this stuff up can you.

So, the two nutjobs were trying to steal the bomb right off their ideological brother? And he took'em with him to the next dimension? If that ain't the definition of irony, I don't know what is.

Gawd- that's got to be at least a 9.1 on the Irony-o-meter!

Wow -- what a LLL moral equivalency conundrum!! -- robbers (who of course are "forced" into that line of work solely because of the ocupaaayshun dontchaknow) against a suicide bomber (see above parenthetical comment)

All I know is it's three less thugs to threaten civilians ...

Annnd - I'm sure some "scholar" wll point out how all three should get a full allotment of raisins -- since fer cryin' out loud they were **trying** to kill Jews, and it's all about what you're **trying** to do, right???
:-)

That is beautiful! If only every suicide bomber could take out their own exclusively.

does he still get the virgins?

For such great work, they all deserve the virgins. Split them three ways.

Isn't there an "Ask the Imam" website somewhere? Vexing metaphysical questions about who gets the virgins cry out for expert opinion.

It's a great day for Darwin, whatever the raisin upshot.

OK, that's pretty funny stuff. I wonder what the robbers planned to do with the explosives. I mean, what's the resale market like? This should get serious Darwin Award consideration. Or, given the time place and nature of the recently deceased, perhaps a first ever Corrie Award is appropriate for the robbers.

Here's another candidate for a Darwin Award:

Here's one of those moments in modern photojournalism that make you want to see the next frames on the roll. What could be about to happen?

Note the position of the open flames licking at the man's shoes. Note the languid arc of the glimmering gasoline just above.

At the very least, this photo is an argument for more time spent in school on the subject of "Cause and Effect." Looks like there's about to be a pop quiz.

[Link: www.americandigest.org...]

One dead suicide bomber, two dead armed robbers and no dead Jews. A good day in Israel :-)

O/T but interesting none the less. Russell Crowe, while filming in Toronto, heard about the Jewish school in Montreal being firebombed earlier this month. He called the school and pledged a donation.

Congratulations.

[Link: www.canada.com...]

#5 Crapulentis_Sum

I'll second that.
But remember, it's an honor just to be nominated. :P

#9 Right Wing Conspirator

LOL

No mention in this story of the question I’m sure is on everyone’s mind: does he still get the virgins?

He gets them, but because his victims were not kufr, his virgins shall have no genitalia. Insh'Allah, they shall be as Barbie dolls down there.

And these people think they can run a country?

Now the madrassas must update their training manuals with a word from the Imam intoning against suicide bombers robbing their "brothers" in order to be "martyrs."

What's next? Suicide vests with anti-theft devices? Oh wait...it IS an anti-theft device!

#18 PDM:

Split them three ways.

At the hips and shoulders, I take it?

This may be the first workable MidEast peace plan.

#25 Allah

LMAO! Though, there are other ways to [EXPLICIT LANGUAGE CUT].

So my question is;

Has anyone done any serious studies of median I.Q. in the Arab world. After a C***R F**K like this it might be a subject for scientific inquiry.

And these people think they can run a country?

Now the madrassas must update their training manuals with a word from the Imam intoning against suicide bombers robbing their "brothers" in order to be "martyrs."

What's next? Suicide vests with anti-theft devices? Oh wait...it IS an anti-theft device!

Does this ridiculous attempt by Hamas to "infiltrate" Israel give the IDF the authority to drop a couple hellfire missles down on Mahmoud Zahar's head?

Israel said "Anyone who doesn't use terrorism against us, we do not deal with".

Well, they did.. so go deal with it.

Three birds, without stones.

Here is my favorite Darwin Award to date. This one is almost as good.

As Jay Leno would say, "Who do you root for?"

This event is just a preview of things to come when Israel withdraws from and seals off Gaza.. absent any industry and work ethic, they'll fight with each other.

Hmm. Since Hamas made the two robbers Israelis posthumously, they would no longer qualify for the virgin package. Aint that a kick in the pants? Get to the afterlife...and find out you're just kufr.

Ha ha!

More. Quickly. Please.

Sounds like a plot from a Palestinian "Three Stooges" film.

There have a lot of people named "Mo" already. Perhaps the "Jenin, Jenin" director would move from the genre of fiction/mockumentary to slapstick comedy.

Wonder if he has the range.

#20 jheka -

you are on to something there with a Corrie Award.

Corrie Award = Dancing w/ Darwin and blaming the Jews for the inevitable.

Done.

Maybe the new Hamas leader should hire those types of people for bodyguards.
“Come any closer and I’ll take me out”.
It will save wear and tear on IDF equipment.

#9:

Did you contribute this article?

(:

(#38) me

"There have" = "They have" or "There are"

Whichever sounds better.

I just love a story with a happy ending.

#32 r

Yesterday I had opined that Zahar was car swarm material right after a spoldeydope detonated next to civilians and/or the IDF stops one. I certainly did not account for this scenario ...

Who blow up dere own?

Abu Moe, Abu Curly & Abu Larry.
Best laugh I've had in a while.
When I told wife, she just gave me her best Jack Benny stare.

Wonderful isn't it? Natural selection at it's finest.

splodeyjacked?

“Anyone who tries to stop a fighter from doing his work is a collaborator,” he said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

BUWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! And we all KNOW what they do with collaborators in Gaza, don't we?

BTW, is it just me, or are all of Hamas' spokespeoples now 'anonymous'?

33 Sorge

Heh, reminds me of WW2 fighter pilot anecdotes about killing Nazi planes by literally chasing them into the ground. Or bouncing enemy formations, causing them to collide with one another.

For Hamas/Al Aqsa/etc, life's a beeatch if they have to resort to stealing one anothers' splodey. Thank God for the dopes.

20 Jheka

Corrie Award Indeed!

For some other sicko humor, photos of Qaddaffi visiting Europe are not bad...

[Link: news.bbc.co.uk...]

Mo's Girls (his bodyguard, ahem) are decked out in stunning blue camo; Mo himself gets into art, etc.

Another example of the gene-pool weeding out the weak on its own.

This is how Hamas is going to partner with the PLO for Gaza security when the IDF pulls out.

I can't wait for them to get a state and participate in UN Peacekeeping.

Charles, link to this: Lynn B went to a talk by a Palestinian journalist who now lives in Israel and works for the JPost. From the horse's mouth about tyranny under Arafat including suppression of real journalism.

Abu Toameh isn't gentle with many favored palestinian myths, either. Sharon's visit to the Temple Mount did not ignite the "intifada." Rather, it was the coverage of the visit in the palestinian media, in which it was made to appear that Sharon arrived with guns and tanks to invade and destroy the mosque and rebuild . . .. He left that sentence hanging. As for the palestinian devotion to the "right of return" and the re-division of Jerusalem, he lays the blame squarely on the Israeli government, which by agreeing at Oslo to open those issues for resolution in "final status talks" invited that particular foot in the door. Now, he says, it's become an indelible part of the palestinian worldview and impossible to eradicate. For the most part, they realize it's not going to happen, but you won't hear them say that. Oslo gave them the hope, the incentive to keep handing down those keys, the notion that someday . . ..

There's lots more. He calls Bush "the savior of the Arab masses."

Now playing: Blazing Vests, starring the Hamas Players...

Mahmoud: "Nobody make a move, or the terrorist a**hole gets it!"

Mahmoud: "I think he means it! Do as he says!"

#27 Jheka,

Split them three ways.

At the hips and shoulders, I take it?

LOL. Hmmm. I don't know. But I bet there's a Nobel Prize available for the person who figures it out.

You missed the most telling bit at the end:

"The wounded man, a member of Hamas, was taken to an Israeli hospital."

LOL

What else can one say? I guess a further analysis/thought clarifies the fact that there is very little unity-sturggle...in Gaza its each animal for himself.

Syrian ambassador to Washington accused al Qaeda of attack on Damascus embassy quarter Tuesday night, declared Syria stands side by side with United States in war on terror.

We utterly condemn the bombing of Pearl Harbour, and hope to reaffirm the traditional German-American alliance...

This is insane!

AP just released this photo of the belt they were trying to steal. Apparently, it was the BUCKLE they wanted, not the belt of explosives:

AP PHOTO: Palenstinian belt (buckle) stolen

52:

I'm speechless. No hajibs, he already claimed his virgins, an inspiration to all muslim women?

Are they actually allowed to drive?

So bizarre.

LOL!

I'm confused. Will AP/Al Reuters view this as three Palis "killed" during the noble uprising against zionist occupation? or will they agree with Hamas that the two thieves are Israelis, so it's one Pali "killed" and two israelis killed.

Will the UN meet to condemn Israel for violating international law by killing 3 innocent Pali civilians or 1 innocent Pali civilian and 2 Israeli arabs?

Things that make u go hmmm.

#49 Fenway Nation (formerly soy_yanqui

Hey, no flip flopping! :)

As a Bostonain by birth, living not all that far from the Bronx ( in Westchester), them is fighting words. It is not easy to have to see those crazed Yankee fans, especially when 2 are really loved members of one of our son's in-laws' family!

Are you ging to do a switch if the damn Yankees pull another curse out of their pockets??? I will be watching.

BTW, is it just me, or are all of Hamas' spokespeoples now 'anonymous'

You are not alone! I guess it's the lousy job security and lack of medical funeral expenses!

72 raisins, not virgins, darn it!

BTW This thread has the best newsstory since the targetted bombings.

The Libyan leader stepped off the plane for his landmark visit accompanied by his team of crack female bodyguards.

Heh heh ... he said 'crack'. heh heh

/Beavis

#41 Ann

I posted it back here.

But as I stated. I will not disgrace my self and moan about a hat tip. I mean, it is just a hat tip right. I don't know why people make such a big deal about not getting a hat tip. ;-)

besides, Laurence Simon probably sent it to him. Who knows. I know Charles is fair with the HTs.

The wounded man, a member of Hamas, was taken to an Israeli hospital.

Wow... talk about apartheid and genocide in action.

But seriously, everyone should take the time to read this:
Taking Chance Home

ps - may want to have some tissue handy.

Damn, I just read this somewhere else and that was my first thought as well, does he get the virgins not having died for Allah!

This is truly ONE of the funniest storys I have read in ages ;-)

NY Nana

As a Bostonain by birth, living not all that far from the Bronx ( in Westchester), them is fighting words. It is not easy to have to see those crazed Yankee fans, especially when 2 are really loved members of one of our son's in-laws' family!

My condolances. New Englander by birth; my first big league ballgame was when my hometown's little league team go to go to Fenway to watch the Sox take on the Brewers (way back when they were an AL team).

Are you going to do a switch if the damn Yankees pull another curse out of their pockets??? I will be watching.

Don't mistake me for a certain senator (who did you know served in Vietnam?). Like I said in Febuary- nothing takes the sting out of Boone's 11th inning solo shot in the ALCS like the Lombardi trophy returning to New England again. And for the record, I was wearing Patriot's hats and T-shirts back when they were 3-13 and a friggin' joke.

The monicker 'soy_yanqui' was given to me whilst in South America a few years ago, although the adjective 'sucio' or 'pervertido' would sometimes be thrown in for good measure. The fact that it could in some way be interpeted as a measure of support for George Steinbrenner's overpaid harem of pretty-boys didn't really register with me until the start of the regular season.

Getting back on-topic. Cause of death; excessive irony.

A Hamas official said that whatever their intention, the two should be considered agents of Israel.

So maybe they get decorated by the IDF, posthumously of course?

“Anyone who tries to stop a fighter from doing his work is a collaborator,” he said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

So, nope, no virgins for the gunufs.

Best laugh I've had since Yassin was blown off his pottie.

#68 RWC.

/wiping eyes

Oh man. That was tough. Thanks, though.

Anyone that reads that and responds with an "eh..." gets a boot to ye ol skull.

God, I feel like such a wuss.

I hope the american will kick in Al Sadrs ass.

The spanish are cowards ... no relation with them anymore.

Good catch ... after yassin blow away to hell.

I pray for the 3 italian hostages, no negotiation.

thanks,
franco "italian"

(christ & pro-israel)

Seriously, though, it's a sad state of affairs when lines like this:

but no group claimed the two gunmen, and their families did not go to the hospital to take the bodies, indicating that the two were not militants, who are revered in Palestinian society.

don't even get a comment from you guys. It's like "militants" is now accepted, because you have all gone hoarse from protesting and getting no where.

(and I say you guys because I am a lurker who has never had the ambition/moral strength to even send a letter of protest to the editor of my local rag - Philly Inquirer - when they pull crap like this. I have always just shrugged angrily. This is not an insult to you regular posters. It's an insult to me.)

KABOOMSKI! Nothing warms my heart or makes my day than these examples of "Palestinian Natural Selection."

It prompts me to revise an age-old question:

Q: A Hamas bomber and some Palestinian criminals get into a fight. The bomb goes off.

Who wins?

A: We all do!

two thieves, one shahid
all three get their just desserts
irony is painful

talk about a deterrent to crime. This will make robbers think twice of robbing someone in Gaza. Think about it if we all wore suicide belts, crime would be eliminated. I think they're geniuses, not idiots.

ATTENTION ALL VIRGINS ! INCOMING...INCOMING !

#71 bigel

LOL. I know, I know.

#73 David, TPFKADTTL

Yeah. Kept on getting little pieces of dust in my eye and a sore throat. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

#38 and 46

I was thinking something similiar. It's almost out of a comedy movie. Although don't forget, the Stooges were Hebrew-Americans...real name..Horawitz I believe.

"Give us your belt of distruction, we are armed."

"No, I must kill Jooosss."

"We're serious, we want your belt, now hand it over."

"But I can't kill the Zionist pigs without it. Perhaps we can work out a deal."

"No deal. Abu Curly, get his belt you knuckhead."

"Okay,what's this do, nuyk nuyk" BOOM.

/finally stops choking with laughter/

Oh, c'mon. This was in the Onion, right?

#77 TS

I'm impressed. Shahid-ku. Neat.

Nominations for Lizard Laureate?

I pray for the 3 italian hostages, no negotiation.

Amen, Franco. The only reason Al-Jazeera thought the execution was 'too disturbing' to air is because of how defiant Quattrocchi was before the practitioners of The Religion of Peace (TM) executed him.

Sorry but that's just so funny...

'Ahmed let's steal that bulky vest that man walking towards the IDF checkpoint has...'

BANG

What a Corrie.

could it be that maybe, just maybe the palis are running out of semtex,c-4 or whatever they use for blowing innocents up and they have to steal it from each other?
nah, probably not, just wishful drinkin on my part.

They're obvously running low on explosives if the various "Islamic charities" have to resort to armed robbery to get them.

Let's just say the competition to be the next shaheed has just reached a whole other level.

"The houris are MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE I SAY!"

*KABOOM*

"contestants in a suicidal race..."
--The Police, "Syncronicity"

I can not stop laughing about this. More please.

A little good news for a change.

Anyone want to tell me what the WORD for this behavior is? (Criminals stealing Suicide Bomber's STUFF) What kind of people do this? Its beyond riduculous. Yes..and this is a country that the West would set up as a Legal Entity right next to Israel? Makes sense to ME...Yeah Right?

Doncha think we should RETHINK this whole policy of establishing a full legal Palistinian State?

The key word..is RETHINK. If I could start to introduce this as a concept..RETHINK...the Pal. State. OY.

Right Wing: I didnt get my article put up either. (boo hooo) Mine was HYSTERICAL..Something about Sudanese(think it was Sudanese - or not lolol) men that felt their Pe..ises..were disappearing or shrinking or some such hysterically funny thing. Forgot why already but practically the whole country of men got into this and the idea spread. *** Dang...forgot the details already..just know it was a Moslem? country and all these men thought they were losing their Pe...sis. I thought that might be a funny thing to discuss. A little break from the serious. Maybe the article wasnt repectul enough to Islam...I dont know...lolol

Actually it isnt funny at all when you think of it. Its the fantasy thinking of the Moslem World. If they THINK something is true..it IS true to them..And they will act on it. That CAN be a problem.

#91 Leah

Was that recent? I know I've read (if you can believe it) other accounts of that. And I was trying to find them for realwest.

That CAN be a problem.

That IS a problem.

RW: Maybe it was four five days ago--something like that. It might have been on Farahs site..or maybe JWR site??? I sent the article to Chas..but possibly it was too disrespectful of Islam to put up here. Could be...

I died laughing--- however. The Men of the whole country thought their "you knows "were disappearing or shrinking... I Cant stand it...LOLOLOLOLOL

...does he still get the virgins?

bumbling terrorist idiots get nothing but, hmm. Lets have a poll.

70 Fenway Nation

Cause of death; excessive irony.

very excessive.

#46 Zaide

Abu Moe, Abu Curly & Abu Larry.

LOL!! Great minds run in the same gutter wave length.
When I read the story the first thing I thought of was the Three Stooges. However they (3 Stooges) were smarter.

This is the totally weirdest story in quite a while. If anybody can think of a weirder one, please post. This could be a great Twilight Zone episode with an ending twisted even by TZ standards. Submitted for your approval!

A Hamas suicide bomber blew up two armed Palestinians who tried to rob him at gun point in the Gaza Strip.

Well, whaddaya know? Two wrongs DO make a right.

Hamas' anthem has to be George Clinton's "You dropped a bomb on me [baby]." It just has to...

#28 Jheka

I wonder what the robbers planned to do with the explosives. I mean, what's the resale market like?

I think you might be able to find that on e-jazeerabay.com

Suit Case Nukes and Cell Phone
Mark Steyn has some more info on the recent epidemic of penis disappearances in Sudan:

There's something pathetic about a culture so ignorant even its pathologies have to be imported. But what do you expect? The telling detail of the vanishing penis hysteria is that it was spread by text messaging. You can own a cell phone, yet still believe that foreigners are able with a mere handshake to cause your penis to melt away.

---

This is what I found. Embarrassed to Google for "Disppearing Penises"...Geeze...lololololl

This is too funny...from Strange Cosmos, re the shrinking penis...note photo...

PENISES DISAPPEAR WHEN FOREIGNERS SHAKE HANDS !

From Mark Steyn

Muslim paranoia: Enemies made us impotent!

More on the tragedy of disappearing penises...

There actually was a deadly riot in Nigeria in 2001, according to the ever accurate BBC, because some men thought their plumbing had ceased to exist.

[Link: news.bbc.co.uk...]

Major cultural difference here -- if an American man thought his dick had disappeared, he certainly wouldn't tell everyone about it.

ROTFLMFAO!

It Is a Zionist Plot

In conclusion Abbas wrote: "That man, who, as it is claimed, is from West Africa, is an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our people from procreating and multiplying…"

#102 Brenda

Too funny! I would caution all mohels to look behind them at all times!

It is highly unlikely that there is much of a call for one in either the Sudan or Nigeria, though.

#103 Paco from Sefarad

It Is a Zionist Plot

In conclusion Abbas wrote: "That man, who, as it is claimed, is from West Africa, is an imperialist Zionist agent that was sent to prevent our people from procreating and multiplying…"

OK, who ratted us out???

Why do you give Laurence Simon the hat tip?

It was me!

I posted it first!

No fair!

hat tip NY Nana for the penis story, no?

Just read Brendas Post..Not so damn funny after all. Good heavons. ..Murdered over that nonsense. Thats discusting. Pitiful actually. And THIS is coming here? I dont want this "fantasy" thinking here. We have enough to contend with.

Birdwoman (#75) - So glad to see another Philly gal on here! I, too, think the Inquirer is pretty much beyond hope.

And this is definitely one of the funniest threads ever. Charles, I suppose "And they shall be as Barbie dolls down there" (#25) is a bit spicy for the title bar, but would you consider adding it to the rotation? It's surreal, funny, and mocking of militant Islam all at once. :)

#105 Alouette

Read the new FAQ's...take a number, and stand on line with the rest of us! :)

Q. What's a hat tip?
A. A hat tip is Charles's way of thanking you on the front page for bringing an interesting item to his attention. (If you’re interested you can read the history of doffing (or “tipping”) hats.)

#107 Paco from Sefarad

Nope. It was already mentioned, and I got it from Google grad school™ When I first read it earlier, I was somewhat incredulous!

In any event, refer to #105 & #110. Alouette earned one. Now Alouette can photo shop Charles!

#94 selpaw,

However they (3 Stooges) were smarter.

and Jewish.

Damn- reminds me of the good old days when rappers
were killing each other.

Nana,

I will not bitch and moan,

Right Wing Conspirator beat me fair and square.

It is only justice that RWC should get the HT.

#111 NY Nana

Whatever, I'm not keeping score ;^)

#114 Alouette

LOL. I went back to find out what time I posted it before I said anything. Then I got to your #114. Remember, honesty always pays off in the end :-)

Something is very wrong here. Only two stooges?

A truly fair and equitable diety would see to it that the 72 virgins were awarded nonetheless (after all, Tik-Tok still managed to blow himself up, so he deserves at least an E for Effort), but old Poof the magic dipshit would probably have to share them with his would-be pilferers. No biggy - that's still 24 apiece.

#114 Alouette

Nana,

I will not bitch and moan,

You have always been such a good granddaughter! I am kvelling from you! I do enough of both for 2 people, anyhow.

Does that mean no photo shop job, then? :(

RWC is a party pooper!

#115 Paco from Sefarad

LOL!

there is a GOD .

K
A
R
M
A

#30 dgd:

Has anyone done any serious studies of median I.Q. in the Arab world?

To an extent yes. There is a fairly serious scientific book called IQ and the Wealth of Nations, by Richard Lynn and Tatu Vanhanen (the latter is incidentally the father of the present Prime Minister of Finland). A relatively quick review of the results can be found here.

too... funny...
my sides hurt

Hahaha!! Funniest thing I've heard since rachel ugly flat bitch corrie became a pancake!! All arabs calling themselves palestinians should indulge in this new sport.

Is the rest of the arab and islamofascist world seething yet?

According to the Hadiths, they get the virgins...but they all have the clap.

Shiekh Walla Wall DIng Dong

Own goal?

Even I would march in the streets and celebrate these coffins passing by!

meanwhile...at a Starbucks in Nablus...

"Where the hell's that escort party? We were supposed to debrief hours ago!"

Lesson learned: Don't bring a gun to a bomb fight.

OT but check out this gag played on Fidel Castro by a Miami radio station...

[Link: story.news.yahoo.com...]

If anyone has the clip I would like to hear it.

God does have a sense of humor.

Hey! We need guys like this to show us the latest in "personal protection".
Let's ramp up production and get an infomercial going!

I'm coming to this thread way way late, so maybe the issue has already come up, but, what I want to know is, where do you fence suicide belts? What's the going rate for "hot" suicide belts? Are they that much cheaper than the legit market? Is there a grey market for suicide belts?

When Suicide belts are outlawed, only outlaws will have suicide belts. This is what happens when you have government registration of suicide belts, or if you outlaw suicide belts. Honest, law abiding citizens, who would normally acquire their SB's through the legit market, will have to steal their SB's, or just concede the field to the criminal element.
In a society that wasn't as repressive as the Israeli occupational authority, those two thives would have gone to REI and bought them legally. But when the government steps in where it has no business, and tries to be Big Mommy, and play God, and try to run everybody's personal life for them, and make all their decisions for them, and decide what's safe and what isn't, people are naturally goin to resort to this sort of thing to satisfy their needs. This should be a cautionary tale for big government advocates.